There is one thing you are telling me I don't believe is true
See we all have our issues and my issue is you
You told me that your daddy did not want me around you
So your creaking out at night at the age of thirty-two
You lean into my ear
You whisper that you love me
To my surprise I stand aghast!
This hasn't happened to me in the past
And still I don't believe it's true
And to make things worse: I don't love you!
But still you lean into my ear
You whisper that you love me
Now I'm totally freaked out!
Nothing to do but run and shout
You think it's joy: it's really not
It's getting hard 'cause the weather's hot
Now you're shouting over to me
Screaming out-loud that you love me
Shame for you you can't get near me
I'm thanking God your wheelchair's faulty
It's not the fact you're two-foot-two
It's not the lazy eye or your orthopaedic shoes
It's not your crazy bouts of sadness
But it could possibly be the madness
Your musky smell is not the problem
And that claw hand's fine by me
It's not the sporadic bursts of anger
That put me off getting close to you
Your colostemy bag can be off putting
Your scurvy and the rickets too
Your bottled gla**es are a little dated
But more than anything - girl, I don't love you