William Finn - My High School Sweetheart (1985) lyrics

[SWEETHEART] My high school sweetheart is a person, too I tell him he's a person He says I'm just ridickalous My high school sweetheart Is a too ridickalous sweetheart Who's a- [WIFE and GOLDBERG] -Who's a- [SWEETHEART] -Person too He's a person I want to hold him but he's not alive Repeat that I'm a person He says I'm just ridickalous My high school sweetheart Is a too ridickalous sweetheart Who's a- [ALL] -Who's a- [SWEETHEART] -Person too He's a person I say a person has her wants and needs I'm not a greedy person He says I'm just ridickalous! I'm just ridickalous I'm a too ridickalous sweetheart Who's a- [ALL] -Who'a a- [SWEETHEART] -person too [ALL] We're a person [GOLDBERG] He's a person He's a person [MARVIN] I'm a person I'm a person [SWEETHEART] I'm a person I'm a person I'm a person [LADIES] I'm a person [SWEETHEART] I'm a person I'm a person [WIFE] I'm a person [WIFE and GOLDBERG] He's a person [MARVIN] He's a person [WIFE and GOLDBERG] He's a person [MARVIN] I'm a person I'm a person [SWEETHEART] Here I am, Marvin, hold me I want you To want me badly Love me madly Put me onto your bed; Not a ped- Estal Will you? Please do [ALL] Marvin loves Miss Goldberg [SWEETHEART] But, I'm his sweetheart [MARVIN] I love Miss Goldberg She cast me in her play She gave me words to say Made me what I am today [SWEETHEART] I'm his sweetheart [MARVIN] I am Columbus [WIFE] I'm a person [MARVIN] Columbus [SWEETHEART] I'm his sweetheart [MARVIN] King of the ocean [WIFE and SWEETHEART] I'm a person... [MARVIN] Columbus... (spoken) Christopher Columbus as you recall had three ships: The Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria, the Santa Maria being the best looking of the three, lots of gold and carved wood. Even the Pinta had its admirers. But it was the Nina that Columbus was fondest of - 'cause it was named after his mother, Nina Columbus [GOLDBERG] Go ahead Play Columbus Stop making me crazy, Marvin Crazy Marvin I love the way Marvin acts I do Do not make faces And do not undo the facts Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax [ALL] Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax [GOLDBERG and MARVIN] Go ahead Play Columbus Stop making me crazy, Marvin Crazy Marvin I love the way Marvin acts I do Do not make faces And do not undo the facts [WIFE and SWEETHEART] Relax Relax Relax Relax. Relax Relax. Relax Relax. Relax Relax. Relax Relax. Relax [ALL] Relax. Relax. Relax. Relax [GOLDBERG, spoken] Queen Isabella - this is not often told to 9th graders - but here goes: [MARVIN, spoken] Queen Isabella, who financed Columbus' trip to America, was his secret girlfriend [WIFE and SWEETHEART, spoken] A historical fact [MARVIN, spoken] He was her date at a cotillion given by Spanish high society on the occasion of her inauguration; but because he wasn't royalty, he was made to sit upstairs in her bedroom and, while she cavorted downstairs, he read back issues of Stella d'oro and other 15th century periodicals [GOLDBERG, spoken] Columbus later said: [MARVIN, spoken] It was one of the best nights of my life [LADIES] He loves Miss Goldberg [MARVIN] She cast me in her play She gave me words to say Made me what I am today [SWEETHEART] I'm his sweetheart [MARVIN] I am Columbus... [WIFE] I'm a person [MARVIN] ...Columbus... [SWEETHEART] I'm his sweetheart [MARVIN] ...King of the ocean... [SWEETHEART] I'm his sweetheart [WIFE and GOLDBERG] I'm a person [WIFE and GOLDBERG] I'm a person [MARVIN] ...Columbus! (spoken) Columbus' last words were: "I only wish I could have discovered Europe." [GOLDBERG, spoken] Oh, Marvin!