Transit Gloria - Denouement lyrics

My whole entire life I've felt a little out of place How I thought about the universe and what was in my brain Bout this miracle of consciousness and why we're all alive Trying hard to understand why I am terrified to die It's cuz I don't believe in Heaven, but I do believe in Hell And I know there is a devil cuz I know him pretty well We play poker every Saturday, he figured out my tell It is a guilt that he can all but taste and smell It is my bottomless well And I must face it every day It's always ever so inviting My strength of will is not too great I party way too hard, I stay up late And these ghosts that haunt my bedside Disappear when the moon goes down And I'd rather hide than try to fight them But this cycle makes them stronger It's too late for me But it is not too late for you So listen close, and you might just save us both And maybe learn a thing or two Cus I've seen the end Boy, it's sad, but oh so beautiful Still, don't take me there again I don't want to go back Why don't you sit with me? And we can talk about anything you want to Maybe we can figure out the world And make it leave us alone I changed on the 2nd of May, 2009 But I pretended I was doing just fine The part that hurt the worst of all I never did anything wrong at all Defining an archetype, becoming a man Living in a broken down card house Running, laughing, shouting, singing Screaming "someone stop the bleeding" Crying "this is it, this is the end" This is the end Chorus I readily admit I've got a bit of ADD And my lyrics probably don't make sense to anyone but me So while I'm on a roll of temporary clarity I'll try my hardest to enunciate exactly what I mean I want nothing more in life except to happily settle down But I've been hurt too many times, and my times are running out So I drink away the anguish but that only makes it worse This cycle is a curse, this cycle is a curse And so I sing of it every single day There's nothing left to do With a life f**ing perfect, no one can relate to you One day I'll self destruct, break all that's there to lose I am a ticking time bomb, looking for a fuse The people that I've wronged The ones I've left behind The kids that had my back Now, neurons in my mind Will we be okay? Will we ever speak again? Do I know what it all means? It matters not, for I still fear While fulgor has now pa**ed, blown through thousand blades of gra** The shadows shall remain, though all of us have changed Fond memories of past are now but phantoms on a stage Sweet dreams have come and gone with nightmares on their backs My whole entire life I've felt a little out of place I was told I was a horse, that I was loyal and brave Then a demon on my shoulder told me "Stephen, you're a snake" And I knew that it was true, yeah I knew it right away On the bright side maybe broken bones will find a way to heal And I'll have bada** scars and stitches to remind me it was real And that the meanings in the little things and that should be enough Yeah, the meanings in the little things, I think... I think that it's enough But if heaven is real, and if I'm permitted to go Will you be waiting with a smile and open arms? Please be waiting with a smile and open arms Waiting with a smile and open arms