Tim Hawkins - Things you don't say to your wife lyrics

Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end? That dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend And where'd you get those shoes? I think they're pretty lame Would you stop talking 'cause I'm trying to watch the game If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life These are the things you don't say to your wife I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday I didn't ask you 'cause I knew it'd be ok Go make some dinner while I watch this fishing show I taped it over our old wedding video If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life These are the things you don't say to your wife Your cooking is ok but not like mother makes The diamond in the ring I bought you is a fake Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill? Happy anniversary I bought you a treadmill If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life These are the things you don't say to your wife If your a man who doesn't want to get k**ed with a knife These are the things you don't say to your wife