The Whitlams - Ballad of Bertie Kidd lyrics

{Verse 1} "They don't write songs 'bout guys like me Here, I got one you can have for free" He was with his old mum He'd brought her up the pub to watch the Rabbits run around She liked to see him swear at televisions Sledging men on football fields And lashing out on counter meals Reminds her of the old man How Souths and life will set you up to fall {Verse 2} I was at home with Mum in '88 Friday night, I wish I'd had a date The phone rings at nine It's Bert the Baby Blue-Eyed Killer on the line He says, "Meet us out the back in ten" Mum says, "Put a jumper on Although you won't be gone for long Not when it goes to plan And Bert will have a plan, he does alright" {Chorus} With my balaclava Curled up like a turban on my head "Get in," he said "All we need is a fourth to be a co*katoo If you don't come, I'm beltin' you I'm Australia's greatest robber It's an honour for ya, son Now, come along" {Verse 3} A stolen Sigma in the lane Bert says, "Get in the back and I'll explain It's an easy grab But there's two hours 'til the coast is clear, we'll get a slab And then we'll get an art collection My man has left the key outside We'll cut the canvas with these knives Be in and out in twenty Pro Hart and Norman Lindsay and Ken Done" {Chorus} With my balaclava Curled up like a kitten on my head "Get in", he said Some men, when they're drinking Mistake their thoughts for thinking Australia's greatest robber With somehow thirty years inside And he says, "Now we're four blocks away, boys Pull your headgear down" I wish it had been me deciding You'd be mad to put a bet behind him Bert, the blue eyes hurt {Verse 4} Four sittin' ducks in a stolen car We all need the Brassco, but we've come too far And if we get done I hope that I get Malabar, the old girl would come Three buses, stay with Aunty Val Norman Lindsay and Pro Hart I'm about to give my youth to art These blocks are really long And there's not much goin' on behind those eyes {Chorus} With my balaclava Rolled down really tight below my chin They let me in Some men, when they're drinking Mistake their thoughts for thinking Here we are, two blocks away Fully hooded, on our way and Sure enough, some cops are passing Scratch their chinny-chins They see eight wide eyes with cans of Reschs Call it in, and then they met us there Foot of the stair {Verse 5} Bert looks the judge right in the eye Says, "It was unseasonably cold that night" They read mine out But I don't hear the verdict Mum was crying out At least I got the ocean view Australia's greatest robber Got me thirteen months of bother Ah, it's who you hang around, boy Who says, "You, come along now for a ride"