The Wet Spots - Toes lyrics

I've had eight hundred fifty seven lovers And you're certainly the greatest of them all You make me more than whimper like no other You take me on the floor and off the wall You're like an acrobat from poon tang circus I've never even seen you wearing clothes There's just one thing I need to make it perfect Come, wrap your arms around me, listen close Don't lick my toes It's disgusting and disturbing It's upsetting and unnerving All the things you could be perving on Why must you choosing toes? I'm not a prude I don't mind kinky hanky panky You can pee on me or spank me With a second hand umbrella But you'd better listen, fella I should tell you right from hello There's no way I'll let you tongue the yellow pustulating sores and blisters in between my toes Don't lick my toes It's repulsive and I hate it It's completely overrated I don't know if I can state it any clearer Come no nearer Oh do you hear, oh maybe you're some kind of idiot or something I don't know! Don't lick my toes I know you've seen it in the p**nos You don't see me licking your toes Maybe this should be some kind of indication to you that maybe it's not something I'm into It doesn't make me feel s**y I don't even feel like living when this sort of thing starts to happen to me You know what it feels like? It feels like being flossed with warm liver, you know Or stepping in something in the night! You're expectant and erect And all I think is disinfectant Mouthwash won't disguise the scent of all the fungus and the sweat And all the filthy streets I've walked upon The stench inside my socks Upon he grave of my grandmother Won't you please just find another way to show me your urbanity And stop with this insanity! The door is shut The way is closed What don't you get? I think it's gross I'm indisposed! Don't lick my toes (Lick my toes)