The Tiger Lillies - Heaven to Hell lyrics

I thought I'd be happy in heaven I thought it would be swell I thought I'd be happy in heaven In fact I'm as unhappy as hell The harps, they all bore me St. Peter's jokes are a farce The angels look down their noses because I'm from a different cla** St. Mathews discovered religion He converts people every day Whenever he gets near me I tell him to go away St. Christopher, I've been rude to him I told him what he could do with his staff I told him where he could stick it And he didn't laugh Only old Mary is good'un Yeah, she's a good sort She's generous with everyone She's a good sport And God, he's a miserable ba*tard He's always making up rules I'm terribly disillusioned I think he's a silly old fool Jesus, he plays the guitar He sings like Joni Mitchell I thought I'd be happy in heaven But in fact I'm unhappy as hell