The Saurus - The Saurus vs Carter Deems lyrics

[Round 1: Carter Deems] I love it when you rap about blasting the heater In 2006 you rapped about grabbing the strap on his backpack and cla**ic sneakers I told him to just rap against the cats in his cla** and he went to Wal-Mart and battled the greeters You still take personals personal and that's pretty bad for a rapping geezer Like I could say uh, his music's so bad it actually attacks the speakers or He had to pay Illmac' a stack for just half a feature And he starts shaking his head no so violently you'd think he's the one who's been having the seizures I feel bad for you it's like there's like something you have to prove No matter how ridiculous I rap at you Like I could say, "The Saurus loves to eat bags of poo While he rides in the back of a kangaroo And he'd looks straight into the camera and say, "That isn't true." But face the facts my dude, eating bags of poo is something you actually do Now this is where you look in the camera too, shake your head no and show off that sa**y attitude You're a sa**y dude But I want you to be happy too He tried to be the big dog but puff his chest up like Scrappy Doo Rapping about the gats and scrapping like little Scrappy do He saw the young cats rapping about Macs and tools so that's the way he started rapping too But coming from you it sounds sadder than all the jazz and blues in Baton Rouge Me? I'm covered in ice, I'm acting cool, pa**ing through The diamonds in my grill; black and blue like a nasty bruise I mean biting down on the karats/carrots so much you think I'm eating rabbit food I'm living wild like a rabbit do I'm a rabid dude, my ice stay flashing you Like I pulled up my shirt and showed my abs to you I drag this dude, I brought bags for you like I'm packed to move I'll pull out the gats and start blasting you You see more flashes than a fashion shoots See none of that stuff is stuff that I actually do But it still doesn't sound half as sad as you cause at least I can admit it's not actually true This old dude is old news, I use the magazines to move past the issues Use the piece to make a hole so big I can past a fist through See I still don't sound half as sad as this dude Somebody grab the tissue But not before I crack his ribs through Attack jujitsu, flip back and kick you He has nice blocks but my round house cold; that's an igloo I'll push him off the top floor see him falling on his face Now that's a scary story, but your plots always been that grave I got the will to make some dollars off his fate I'll keep earning on this man 'til I put this body on display Earn? Mantel? Body on display? You got beat by QP so I thought you might like getting bodied in this way And I knew you'd start arguing today I just called you out like two seconds ago and you decided to fall for it anyway [Round 1: The Saurus] First thing first, Team Ganik all decade But a small shout to Gully and his little underground army For all showing up to be here for P-Nuts coming out party Does Team Gully really want a war? "No" is the short answer A bunch of bench warmers talking 'bout pitching that's sports banter You poor fans got these cheesy bums lowering your standards And we're the only ones who can pick it back up like Thor's Hammer You one of those sneaky f**ing vegans Y'all know just the type Try to push their vegan propaganda on you to help adjust your life One time Carter made me coffee I got sick after I sipped it once or twice He said, "It could've been the manure fed goat's milk with mushroom spice." Now, you only really get a chance to get revenge so much in life So the next week I made him some coffee but he watched me put in all the stuff he likes I said, "How is it?" He said, "That goats milk really settles in my stomach right." I said, "Huh. That's good cause I got some news for you...I f**ed your wife!" Let's go Carter, I got a question for you Are you go karter? Like do you go kart- do you go go karting? Where do you go Carter? Your whole squad gets stonewashed in cold water Let's get this slaughter of a show started The Generals vers' the Globetrotters Carter you shark food in my pool, you getting chewed apart You remind me of the youngest son from Home Improvement...you a Mark If you think you gonna win today it'll be hard trying Cause Carter's got a name that I can spell out and do a "put you in the ER" line Not yet though, not yet though The streets told me that you would 3-0 me, well let me hear that from Carter Deems himself Cause since he lost to Bonnie, sh** I just hope Carter redeems himself It's ironic you got that "still goes trick or treating" swag Cause when I open doors for you I'm only giving Deems the bag He thought he had a trip to Toronto for three nice days But this is boot camp for Gully and his G.I. Janes And Bonnie beat you dressed as Cat Woman, need I say? That's the biggest L a cat gave you since feline AIDS And when you see (C) A.R.'s T lead you to the E.R Time [Round 2: Carter Deems] They say I'm unbeatable but that isn't true I've lost, sock after sock, I've got like 16 different pairs of missing shoes I've been beat, everyday in middle school I lost my composure on multiple interviews I spent 50K on a degree that I didn't use I'm awful at board games I've lost in the game of Life, Trivial Pursuit Risk, Taboo, multiple attempts at Clue Forget a battle, when it comes to Scrabble I've lost every match up I didn't lose When it comes to Scrabble my mom's intense I started out with confidence but I've lost it since Cause when I let her (letter) square up I took four L's in a row cause all I had were consonants Then I had to face the consequence I took a risk in Risk and lost continents I took a poop on myself I lost all my continents I ruined my boxers they were cotton knits The material was very thin but poop still got caught in it Now I know he's probably gonna make fun of my overuse of h*mophones So I'll go ahead and call it myself, here hold my phone Yesterday I went to the AT&T store, that's the home of phones Whenever I get in trouble I talk like E.T. cause it's home I phone Now that's such a reach it's like I dislocated my arm again But he'll probably take my word game and try to copy them It'll be a problem when he realizes no one's ever gone to the thesaurus/ The Saurus for h*monyms And that's the way I'm "homming" him That was supposed to be "that's the way I'm harming him" I'm marching in like army men with a couple toys, Barbie/Ken You can catch me in a cardigan, the car Carter in slicker than a charlatan And it's ga**ed up like I had to fart again He tries so bad to be fly but everyone knows that's a cardinal sin My bars set the bar, his go below it When my flow is on it there's no opponent You hear a dope h*monym then you know who wrote it This nerd stays scared of my wordplay he's h*mophonic [Round 2: The Saurus] 12:00 He tried to use a prop on me with his use of h*mophones But I wouldn't accept that sh** cause I didn't want to use a h*mo's phone And that line is even more dope cause I'm not even a h*mophobe There ain't a Greg Odin's kneecap's chance in Hell, the rookie's squad is better than ours You're the ones getting the shot, we're the ones setting the bar Most of you up and comers do nothing to set you apart And that covers more than half the field like Kevin Millar f** it, it's the art of war, that's what this card is for Bow his throat, cap his head, what you think I cover Carter for? No holds barred on this broad, not what you bargained for I thought you was the cat man, dawg, what you barking for? Now I'm sure there's things about you that a few folks have wondered So let's get sweatpants and a snuggie that's too/two clothes for comfort You can't tell me that it's not true Besides me, the biggest opponent that you ever lost to...was law school You flunked out, couldn't pa** the bars, stuck in stalemate An epileptic vegan for desert you had a kale...shake Now, I'm not trying to steal the spotlight, I don't wanna seize your moment I said, try to steal those spotlights or he'll have a seizure moment Homie, there's some sh** me and you need to talk about You look like you got your style off Junior from Problem Child 13:45