The Masturbation Song - The Masturbation Song lyrics

It's Saturday night and I'm alone, I've made no future plans, So I sit me down and I pull out the little old Man, I ain't got a girlfriend and I don't have a date, But that's alright with me coz I love to masturbate Back in the old days I'd buy some magazines, a six pack of beer and a tub of Vaseline, Penthouse and Hustler were as good as it could get, But I hit the jackpot when I found the Internet. I'm beating my meat, pounding the pud, yeah I'm jacking off! I got a good grip on my joystick, and it ain't Microsoft, I'm flogging my dog, spanking the monkey, ain't computers great! Yeah I'll never leave home coz I love to masturbate! They got naked men and women, and all kinds of s** galore, Blondes, brunettes and redheads and Philippine who*es, No matter what you're into, you'll find your own dot COM, There's even one for old chicks where I think I saw my mum! Yeah choke the chicken, rub the duck, yeah I'm talking low, I got a good grip on my joystick and I can't let it go, Row that skin boat, stroke the log, ain't computers great! Yeah I'll never leave home coz I love to masturbate! They say things like E commerce, with three WWWs and a dot, They say It's for information, but I'm here to say it's not, Now they're trading it on Wall Street, but they ain't fooling me, It's al just a cover for the p**n industry! And I'm shagging my shaft, cleaning my gun, hammering the nail, I'm a cybers** site surfer, with my own email, I'm petting my snake, jacking off, thank you old Bill Gates, I'll never leave home coz I love to masturbate! Yeah I'll never leave home coz I love to masturbate!