The Lucksmiths - English Murder Mystery lyrics

I love her but she loves Agatha Christie And she's so wrapped up in the English Murder Mystery I was nowhere near the scene of the crime I was nowhere around at the time Someone dropped arsenic in Mr Robinson's wine Getting angry doesn't suit her Says her English literature tutor She's a sheep in wolves clothing It's a bad disguise I couldn't help noticing with due surprise That she's dotted her t's and crossed her i's And she wants to take me away to a hotel in Bornmouth for the holidays What's murder and suspense between good friends? We took a cliched clifftop walk And I made the mistake of mentioning Peter Falk She says American TV has k**ed the murder mystery 'Cause the k**er's always caught by 10.23 I had the motive but she gave me the means A dagger in the drawing room just after tea She was Miss Scarlet with embarra**ment And envy turned me Reverend Green I love her but she loves Agatha Christie She's dead serious about her family history But she made me promise that I'd never hurt her She looked so suspicious at the supper I served her One mans meat is another man's murder And she wants to put me away in a room without a view for a long holiday What's prosecution and defence? What's common law and common sense? What's a barbed wire electrified fence between friends?