The Last Felony - Quandary lyrics

I still remember when it started How do we fall asleep? Unanswered, it kept me awake Am I a series of reactions? A constant domino effect from the big bang Nothing lost Nothing gained Everything changes Or have I been perverting my essence since birth With every action I regret? Is true self a labyrinthine course towards my metaphoric heart Or rather the whole of my destiny's design? Or is the whole of myself a quest to balance these states? Therefore, I'd be a quandary A state of perplexity or doubt But did an enigma lay dormant until unearthed Or did the question create the state? Crudely said: Is it my fault? If the answer is that there is no answer And the question will not die, what then? How do they pa** through life with (or without) these questions? If it would, at least, block my reasoning at myself For if I do not understand my mind What is it worth trying to figure out the world? Why do I still try? And finally, I question the very basis of the crisis Is this a lucid state? And what if it's all genetic?... Depression pa**ed down, wires shorted out Predisposed to think? Predisposed to be sick? Seems like this is the deepest it goes... My own body, which I cannot trust So no reasoning possible I'm forever blocked at my first step... And sometimes I'd rather stumble like the blind The final level of questioning Self-doubt leads to nihilism No knowledge will ever be gained But with silence comes questions Unanswered, they keep me awake...