The Bedroom Philosopher - Irish Girl lyrics

Dear god thank you for blessing us with this beautiful day A day of which I'll see none of as I go to work onboard a packed tram After four hours sleep thanks to my hippy neighbours impromptu bush doof Reconciled with an apology note written in the dust On the back window of my Corolla Which you continue to smiteth with clutch problems Thankyou god for creating me in your image By the way in the bible it never mentioned you were short Or an Irish girl Meaning I'm the perfect dimensions to be the meat in an ipod sandwich Getting guitar from one song and vocals from another Creating the new band Madonnica I can only see in mono but smell in stereo Nothing says good morning like an elbow in the tits from a flatulent accountant Dear god thankyou for bestowing me with this razor sharp wit Which guys find so memorising Till the six month mark of the relationship when they deem me too negative Which is boy code for I think I've got a window with this so called friend I've secretly had a crush on for years PS I only pretended to like d**h Cab For Cutie Your breasts are weird and your risotto's on the gluggy side I can't cut up the photos of us because they're all on Facebook But I can still retag you arsehole Arsehole Dear god thankyou for sending me the charismatic yet flaky best friend Who convinced me to come to Australia for a year Only to bail out after two weeks cos she's homesick She wanted to get back with her UK boyfriend Because in certain light he looked like and could actually be Pete Doherty God only you yourself know why I've been here three years Realising my potential as a temping superstar Thankyou Seek dotcom it turns out funky young workplace means call centre And exciting new opportunities means drifting through the mall handing out pamphlets Dressed as a giant marsupial Disenfranchised? I'm dissin' franchises all the time Hey Starbucks Get f**ed Dear god I know you work in mysterious ways But you should realise we're pretty sh** detectives In the absence of any discernible proof bar a few sunsets and orgasms I'd like to think you're there for me in a Santa kind of way For Christmas I'd like a job in a bookstore A yoga instructor boyfriend And the ability to get my period before or after music festivals Seriously it's about time you got involved For God's sake stop embarra**ing all the Christians In the name of the father the son and the holy spirit For the love of God