The Arrogant Worms - TV Weather Guy lyrics

My father was a lawyer, mom's at university My brother and my sister, they both have their Ph.D. My grampa was a pilot shooting Nazis from t he sky But I am the most famous, I'm a TV weather guy He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke H e always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke Thinks a meteorologist knows what falls from the sky But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy They said that I'm not qualified to be on the TV Don't know Celsius from Fahrenheit so I just say degrees I just read the temperatures and make up a bunch of lies And end up being right more than the guy on channel five He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke Thinks cloud are made from cotton that have blown up to the sky But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy On Saturdays I must be out of bed by five A.M. Put on a ton of make-up and then stare at the camera lens Greeting all the viewers with a "Hi-hi-hip-hello!" 'Cause it's the day I have to host a kiddie cartoon show He smiles at the camera then to his puppet sock He raves about the crayon drawings of the family dog Did a promo at the shopping mall and made the children cry He's a lousy clown but a good TV weather guy They said that I'm not cute enough to be an anchorman Not tough enough for sports and for the arts I was too bland But I know that some day I will reach my TV goal When I guest star on Baywatch or 90210 'Til then I'll smile at the camera and tell a little joke He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke He wonders why big storms are always named for other guys But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy He's got a steady income as a TV weather guy!