The Adventures of Duane & BrandO - The Carpet is Lava lyrics

Get your a** in the kitchen Do what you is told The sink is full of dishes The tub is full of mold I have no clean underwear I have to think of more chores Get your a** on your knees with a toothbrush and scrub my f**ing floors (Duane... Dude, what the f** are you doing?) (How many times do I have to tell you, dude? You're doing it all wrong.) You gotta do her like this: Kick her in the face, in the jaw Kick that b**h 'til you can't kick no more Then you do a little jig like this (Like this?) Then you hit her in the mouth with your fist (With my fist!) Aw, sh**! BrandO said knock you out I'm about to show you what it's all about I'll throw a motherf**ing shoe (That's right) And then I'll tell her what to f**ing do (Uh-huh) She loves the abuse, don't let her lie to you A woman ain't nothing but a thing to screw (Hey, guys, I brought the game with me- ...What the f**?) I'm gonna call the cops You can't hit a woman like that You gotta buy 'em flowers Where's my baseball bat? Let's put his a** in the trunk Take him to the river, then dump this punk (911, what's your emergency?) They hit me in the face They hit me in the jaw I'm sorry, but I had no one else to call They threw a f**ing shoe at me and broke my nose My eye's puffing like a motherf**ing crescent roll When they headed outside, I locked the door I had to drag my lifeless body all across the floor I'm bleeding real bad and I've got two black eyes (b**h, you should probably listen better next time)