That Handsome Devil - Party Mom and Invisible Dad lyrics

Let me set the tone Imagine if you will, a group of kids just left alone Mom's in the bathroom trying not to throw up Daddy's on the phone but we've never seen him close up Some guy's pa**ed out sleeping on the sofa When you need a ride home no one ever shows up Wake up your brother, get your mother to bed Spread some peanut bu*ter on some Wonderbread And when it gets too crazy duck and cover your head Once you get used to it, it isn't so bad! You may get a chuckle or a cynical laugh It's the adventures of party mom and the invisible dad She borrows your clothes and goes out with your friends What's the matter honey are you pouting again? The old man left for a beer and a pack of smokes We thought it was weird when he packed all his clothes What a cla**ic show! Mom had a jack and coke and burnt the ca**erole The suspense and the horror, it may make you gasp You wonder for days, will he ever come back? The critics call it pitiful, miserable, sad It's the adventures of party mom and the invisible dad When they first got married, they weren't old enough To settle down, or sober up You'd think by now, they'd grow up enough When they first had children, you couldn't find a better pair A father who was never there, while mother pa**ed out everywhere Learn to cook your own meals, see how being alone feels Watch as we reach deeper states of denial, dishes all dirty, plates in a pile Mom's in the bathroom, laying on the tile Haven't seen daddy's face in a while The suspense and the horror, it may make you gasp You wonder for days, will he ever come back? The critics call it pitiful, miserable, sad It's the adventures of party mom and the invisible dad When they first got married, they weren't old enough To settle down, or sober up You'd think by now, they'd grow up enough When they first had children, you couldn't find a better pair A father who was unprepared, while mom left bottles everywhere When daddy comes around he can't keep our names straight Thinks we're in the same grade we've been since age 8 Crying in your underoos, it's not because of you, it's about your mother too Weighed down by hundreds of issues and episodes You could sift through the wreckage for little collectables The suspense and the horror, it may make you gasp You wonder for days, will he ever come back? The critics call it pitiful, miserable, sad It's the adventures of party mom and the invisible dad