Stona - Must be a f** up lyrics

I guess I must be a f** up Everyone saying i belong locked up Cuz I smoke alot of pot and like to get f**ed up I just wish all you haters would just Shut up! Pick up a J. and lit up! s**s to be you cuz i never learned how to Give up It makes me pissed off when someone says "no one wants me I'm a geek, just write me off" When in reality there the ones people should want to keep I spit raps so others can relate and find the peace they seek I know many won't like my raps cuz i rap so deep I know how it feels when depression is at its peek When you just wanna slit your wrist and let your blood leak I know life can be tough You're like and Diamond in the rough And it hurts when your best isen't enough Everyone always thinking your lame As your try to convince yourself that there is nothing wrong with your brain As you drown yourself away in all of this pain Im not like the rest of you, we're not the same I been pushed to the point I felt I was Insane I didn't ask to be this smart As all you try to tare me apart Not realizing you're breaking my heart To the point this rap sh** I wish it never did start I'm never goin drop outta place You can stay pissed cuz I'm hard to phase My lyrics will be hard to chase Cowards to scared to say there sh** to my face Wishing I would already stop But I'll never quit till the day I'm on top I wish I could be like you, dumb And say f** it, Go get drunk and have fun. Hop in a car and take the police for run Then get shot to d**h cuz they thought they saw me with a gun Or try to I hang my fata** in a jail cell And the Media would be like "oh well..." All I ever wanted was my life to go well Instead I felt lost wondering in hell So lost no one could even tell (Can anyone hear me as I yell) ((whisper: please save me from this hell)) I been gone for so long, Am I even missed? You say you love me and support me but is that why all you ever did was dis? I tried to show everyone kindness And when I did that's when I became real distant Everyone around me always resistant I chased my dreams like i was persistent But everyone treating me like I'm someone to resent I'm sick of living life as a peasant No ever giving a f** about my 2 cents Always scrounging for ever last cent People telling me the only way for me to be saved is to repent But i'm atheist. One of the craziest So I guess i'm just hell bent I don't know where the old me has gone and went I'm sick of swimming in this endless abyss of loneliness & hatred-ness I'm sick of taking all these anti-depressants Always looking for everyone's acceptance I'm Sick of bein taken for a fool When i'm just trying to get myself outta this hole I never calmed to cool f** you idiots that took me for a fool I just wanna bash your face in with a tool Sorry im full of so much hate Its why i'm trying to change my fate And i'm doin great, i found my soul mate She dont know it but she saved my life Shes the reason i picked up a pen and dropped the knife Its the reason I call this girl my wife She saved me from the after life She's helped me complete my life, Fix all the hatred in my brain If it wasen't for you I wouldn't no longer remain I love you always and forever Jenny Spain