Steve Poltz - Chinese Vacation lyrics

Your grandma's on a walker in the old folk's home Your grandpa lost his dentures and he's starting to foam Your dad's inside a biker bar; he's acting like a turd He's sittin' on a stool and yelling “play Free Bird!” Well I'm wondering what the heck is wrong with all of your kin Your sister stole my credit card and figured out my PIN And the love you say you have for me is just imagination I'm gonna send your a** on a Chinese vacation So far away I'm sending you away today Down Beijing way Across the wall you'll join the fray And I'm feeling really gay 'cause you're a million miles away You stabbed me in the heart with a plastic fork You chewed me up and spit me out like sweet-n-sour pork And when the waiter brought the bill you just expected me to pay You ran out with some moviestar and left me here to stay I'm wondering what the hell that I'm supposed to do I'm sick of love and feel just like I got the flu Well what the doctor ordered for me is some rejuvenation I'm gonna send your a** on a Chinese vacation So far away I'm sending you away today Down Beijing way Across the wall you'll join the fray And I'm feeling really gay €˜cause you're a million miles away I coulda been happy just to take any chance I'd seduce ya, and kiss you, and search for romance I got a chopstick reserved for you deep in my pants But you sting just like ants And you're making it so hard to dance Hey, I forgot how to do the dance Your heart is like an army that can do no wrong You treat me like a puppet state, I'm just Taiwan So go ahead and call the guard and call off all of your troops My tears are just as salty as this wonton soup And my strength is just as limp as a Chinese noodle What the hell are you trying to feed me; Is it pork or is it poodle? I need a special visa from the United Nations I'm gonna send your a** on a Chinese vacation So far away I'm sending you away today Down Peking way Across the wall you'll join the fray And I'm feeling really gay €˜cause you're a million miles away But I feel so sad today Like you're a billion miles away