Stephen Lynch - Love Song lyrics

I wrote this song for my lady. If I had a hammer... ... If I had a hammer, I'd build a house for two. And if I had a sailing ship, I'd take a trip with you. And if I had a poet's hand, I'd write a verse for thee. And if I had the painter's touch, On canvas you would be. But I don't have a hammer, And I don't have a ship, So I can't build a house, And we can't take a trip. And I'll never be a poet, Nor have the painter's grace, So I'll never write your verse, Nor immortalize your face. And also, I have herpes.