Starbomb - Luigi's Ballad lyrics

[Luigi Sexbang:] Princess Peach, won't you listen to my speech I don't have any stars of invincibility But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me I'm your Luigi [Marioraptor:] What up, b**h?! I got a 1UP, b**h! What's inside that Question Block? It's my dick! It's-a-me a-Mario I'm more Italian than pastrami I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami I saved you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky Must I be a raccoon to get inside your Tanuki? I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen My mushroom's now mega if you know what I mean So s** it! [Luigi:] Mario, you always do this sh** I like a girl and you ruin it By yelling stuff about your dick Until they go away [Peach Bloom:] Hey, Luigi, it's okay That Mario's a bit risqué Just tell me what you need to say Please don't be afraid! [Luigi:] Oh, Princess! It means so much for me to hear you say that. The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that- GOD DAMN IT [Mario:] I'm here to pleasure that a**! I'd like to go first, Princess, but I always come last And you say we'll get together but I'm jackin' off alone Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only Dry Bones! I am tired of your run-around it's such a f**in' ha**le I go through sh** and then you're in another f**in' castle You gotta think about it? Well I don't believe the hype You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smokin' on my Warp Pipe! [Peach:] Oh Em Gee! I can't decide on which of you should be the guy To take me on a moustache ride that'll redefine my life [Luigi + Peach:] I'm ready to give love a shot It's not about how many coins you got I just know I like you a lot [Mario:] Yo s*uts! Check out my yacht! [Luigi:] Ugh! [Luigi:] Let me take you on a magic kart ride [Mario:] I'll bust all yo' balloons when I smack your backside [Luigi:] We'll have some fun, I'll bring my friends along [Mario:] I'll kick that Donkey Kong right in his konkey dong [Mario:] Come on, Peach! It's time to make your choice! I'm the only plumber that can make your b**bies rejoice Green lanky-a** brother ain't got sh** on me It's time to live out our story of the Princess and the pea (nis!) [Mario:] So! Who's it gonna be, Princess? [Peach:] I choose... Toad! [Mario + Luigi:] TOAD?! [Peach:] Well his whole body's shaped like a dick. [Mario:] Ohhhh, mhm, yeah, definitely. [Luigi:] Oh, yeah, okay, mushrooms look like dicks, yeah-huh.