Spongebob Squarepants - Patrick's Staycation / Walking the Plankton lyrics

Patrick: Giddy-up! Hyah!r SpongeBob: Weren't you going to put your vacation slides in the projector, Patrick? Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. (takes out some hashbrowns) SpongeBob: Patrick, those are hashbrowns. Patrick: Hashbrowns! (engulfs the hashbrowns in his mouth) SpongeBob: Um, Patrick, the slides. Patrick: Right. The slides. (takes out the slides from his belly bu*ton) Voila! Uh, now what? SpongeBob: Now you put the slides in the projector. Patrick: (chuckles & snaps) I knew that. Put the slides in the projec-- (the stool collapses and the projector breaks into pieces) ...tor. Don't worry, SpongeBob. I've got something even better. (turns off the lights and turns on the lamp, shining the light at the projector screen) Okay, here we go. (makes shadow puppets of his rock) There I was... SpongeBob: (claps) Ooh, a shadow puppet show! Patrick: Please, no interruptions. SpongeBob: Sorry. Patrick: As I was saying... (clears throat) I was lying around my house, not even planning to have a vacation when I heard a knock at my door. (Flashback. SpongeBob walks up to Patrick's rock and knocks on it. Patrick moans) For clammin' out loud! Aww, sheesh! I'm still not there yet? (grunts. Opens his rock with a key. SpongeBob jumps inside and sees Patrick laying on the floor with the key in his hand) SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick, what have you done to yourself? Patrick: (panting) I've been waking up, eating, sleeping, waking up, eating, sleeping, waking up, eating, sleeping for my whole life without a rest. I need a break from the hustle and bustle of my everyday life. (breathlessly) It's so exhausting. (cries) Help me, SpongeBob. Please, help me. SpongeBob: Pal, what you need is a vacation. Patrick: That's it! I need a vacation. (cut to Bikini Travel Agency) Travel Agent: So, you'd like a vacation. Patrick: (gasps) Oh, great. Another thing for me to d-- SpongeBob: (covers Patrick's mouth) Yes, he'd like a vacation. Travel Agent: Well, your options are endless, Mr. Star. Anywhere from beautiful white sandy beaches to exhilarating jungle safaris. It all depends on your budget. (SpongeBob and Patrick stare at him. They get booted out) SpongeBob & Patrick: Ugh! Patrick: I guess I'll just have to stay home. SpongeBob: "Stay home"? That's it. You can take a "stay-cation." Patrick: Wh-what's that? SpongeBob: Take a vacation at home. No packing, no travel, just do whatever you want to do. Best of all, it's free. Patrick: Oh boy! (cut to later at Patrick's house) SpongeBob: All right, Patrick. Enjoy your stay-cation. Patrick: That's what I'm gonna do, buddy. (goes into his rock and walks up to a check in counter) SpongeBob: (dressed up in a hotel suit) Welcome to Star Rock Inn, sir. My name is Todd. Can I check you in? Patrick: I don't know. Can you? SpongeBob: Ah, yes. Star, Star, Star. (checking in the computer for Star) Patrick Star, room 801. (gives him a key) Your key, sir. And please don't hesitate to let us know if there is anything we can do to make your stay more comfortable. (dings bell twice and is now dressed as a luggage man) May I take your bags, Mr. Star? Patrick: I don't have any ba-- (SpongeBob gives him two suitcases) Oh... (SpongeBob takes the suitcases back) SpongeBob: Follow me, sir. Your room is right this way. (opens a door that leads to a bedroom) Your room, sir. Patrick: Oh, dear. SpongeBob: Something wrong, Mr. Star? Patrick: Well, honestly, I'm not sure I like the way this room is arranged. SpongeBob: Arranged? Narrator: One Hour Later. SpongeBob: Mr. Star, are you sure about this? (standing on top of all the furniture in a pile) Patrick: No, maybe it's the walls. (SpongeBob deflates and all the furniture crashes into a pile of sand) I got it. Let's put the room back the way it was originally! SpongeBob: (talking about a bathtub full of water) The pool is one of Star Rock Inn's most relaxing features. Patrick: A pool! (rips off shorts, revealing a black speedo, and walks over to the tub) Where's the diving board? SpongeBob: The diving board? Ooh, one diving board, coming up. (runs off and puts together a wooden diving board) Your diving board, sir. Patrick: All right! (laughs and gets on the diving board and does a few flips in the air and hits the bathtub with his head, and then into the water) SpongeBob: You ok, sir? Patrick: (confused) My head is swimming just fine, thank you. SpongeBob: Oh, no! (runs off and comes back in a lifeguard outfit) Lifeguard on duty! (blows whistle and pulls Patrick out of the tub) You ok, sir? Patrick: (teeth chattering) So cold. SpongeBob: This calls for CPR-- candy peppermint resuscitation. Patrick: So weak. (SpongeBob sticks the candy peppermint in Patrick' mouth) Strength... returning. (licks more of the peppermint. His belly is rumbling) But I'm still hungry. SpongeBob: Follow me, sir. (now outside, SpongeBob is dressed as a waiter and puts out a table and a giant rock. He drops the giant rock on his foot and deflates it) If you would take your seat, sir. (Patrick sits down. SpongeBob puts a bib around his neck) Your dining bib, sir. (Patrick reads it as "who's a good boy") Patrick: Wow. What luxury. (SpongeBob, now dressed as a chef, wheels a bbq pit over and gets out a spatula and patty) SpongeBob: One Krabby Patty coming up. Mr. Krabs: (clears throat. SpongeBob gives him a dollar) What, no tip? (SpongeBob hands him some coins) Patrick: Hey, what kind of resort is this? Where's the entertainment? SpongeBob: Oh, uh, you are absolutely right, sir. (jumps on the table) Presenting the SpongeBob Follies. (vocalizes music while dancing) What the hey. Patrick: Boring. (SpongeBob does a magic trick. Patrick scoffs) Lame. (SpongeBob swallows a pineapple) Man: Three, two, one, liftoff. (SpongeBob shoots the pineapple out of his head and into an airplane's propeller blades, slicing the pineapple's skin off, and back down onto the table) SpongeBob: Well, what do you think? Patrick: You are smokin'! SpongeBob: Aw, it was nothing. Patrick: No, no, you're really smoking! SpongeBob: What? (sniffs and sees the patty is burning) Oh, no, the Krabby Patty! (the black smoke fills up around him and Patrick. Patrick exits through the back and his belly rumbles again) Patrick: My tummy is still lonely. (sniffs the aroma in the air) Ahh. (sees the aroma is coming from behind Squidward's kitchen where he is making some sort of stew) Squidward: Ah. (licks some more) Ah, delish. (brings a bowl of stew to the table) Oh, silly me. I forgot the napkin. (walks off to get it from the cabinet) And now an elegant meal for an elegant person. (walks back to the table to see Patrick eating his stew) Patrick: I am quite refined. (slurps the rest of the bowl) Ah! (burps) Squidward: What are you doing here? Patrick: I'm on vacation! The last resort I was staying at was a dump, but this place is awesome. Oh, hey waiter... (snaps) a napkin, please. (Squidward growls) SpongeBob: (coming out of the black smoke with a burnt patty on a plate) Mr. Star, your meal is ready. (Krabby Patty dissolves into dust and blown away by the wind) Patrick, where is he? (Squidward screams) Ah. Squidward: Patrick, you dimwitted moron, get out of my kitchen! Patrick: Good idea. I think I'll head over to the spa. (bones crack) I could use a ma**age. Squidward: Get this into your tiny, tiny, little, tiny brain-- this is not a resort. It's my house. There is no spa. And you can't get a ma**age! Patrick: (moaning) Oh, yeah, that's the spot. (SpongeBob is giving him a ma**age) Hey, you should get a ma**age, too. Squidward: (scoffs) Not likely. (bones crack) Ow ow ow ow! What the hey?! (pushes Patrick off the table) Move over. I want a deep tissue treatment and don't forget the feet. Narrator: 5 Hours Later. (Squidward is snoring and SpongeBob is tired) SpongeBob: So tired. (goes into his house and gets into bed. Sighs but notices snoring is coming from Patrick) Patrick, what are you doing here? Patrick: that resort next door is too crowded. Then I found this place. It's quiet and peaceful. Good night, SpongeBob. (snores. Cut to Mr. Krabs gargling in front of his sink. Goes into his room, turns on the light, and sees SpongeBob in his hammock, snoring) Mr. Krabs: Wake up, laddy. SpongeBob: Hmm? Oh, hi, Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs: You have another nasty old dream? SpongeBob: Mm-mmm. Mr. Krabs: Patrick in your bed again? SpongeBob: Mm-hmm. Mr. Krabs: Aye. Well, good night, laddy. SpongeBob: Good night, sir. [Plankton, Mr. Krabs, Sandy, SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick gather at SpongeBob's pineapple] Plankton: [laughs] Salutations, puny mortals! I am the great genie of the slide carousel! WHOOOO! Endorse my vacation slides or I shall grant you three miseries! Mr. Krabs: Heh, it's supposed to be three wishes. Plankton: Silence, red one! Withstand my slides! Mr. Krabs: [sighs] SpongeBob: [happily] Yaay! Plankton: [Plankton turns on the projector but gets launched back by the slide and gets burnt by the light] AAAAGHHH!! [Plankton jumps up, destroys the projector and spills slides everywhere] SpongeBob: Everything okay in there, oh great genie? Plankton: What are you, mocking me, kid? Of course everything's not okay. I can't show my slides! SpongeBob: Well, that's not the can-do spirit. [SpongeBob takes the projector light and sticks it in one of his holes. He picks up one of the slides with his tongue and places it in front of the light. Now the slide is visible] Plankton: Now we're cooking with blubber! My second honeymoon, it started out as any romantic getaway would. With five days of round-the-clock surveillance... [cuts to Plankton watching through his telescope as the mailman tip-toes up to the Krusty Krab mailbox and tries as quietly as possible to put the letter into the mailbox] SpongeBob: [SpongeBob bashes through the front doors of the Krusty Krab] Woah! [He takes out the letter] Oooh, a letter! Thank you, Mr. Mailman! Mailman: [Annoyed] Oh, if I weren't already on parole. SpongeBob: [SpongeBob crashes through the roof of the Krusty Krab with the letter between his feet] Ha ha ha ha! Mail call! [SpongeBob opens the letter with his teeth and gives it to Mr. Krabs] Mr. Krabs: That-a-boy! Ar ar ar ar! [He reads the letter] It's free tickets! SpongeBob: Free tickets to what, Mr. Krabs? [He reads the letter out loud] You and a guest have won a week of relaxation on a luxury ocean cruise ship! Mr. Krabs: Wohoo! Works for me! [Mr. Krabs grabs his suitcases] Gentlemen, I'm leaving you in-charge! See you when I see ya! SpongeBob: [SpongeBob looks at the letter again] Oh, Mr. Krabs, this says you and a guest! Mr. Krabs: [He stops] Well, I suppose I could make that extra ticket available to, say, who ever is to be me man-servant? SpongeBob: [SpongeBob picks up Mr. Krabs' bags] Right this way, sir! [They exit the Krusty Krab] Plankton: [Looking through his telescope] You might as well hand over that secret formula right now, 'cause once you shove off it's as good as mine! Ha ha ha! What in sea-bottoms?! Mr. Krabs: [To SpongeBob] Now look here, boy. I'm bringing along the secret formuler as a precaution, just in case our absence proves to temptin' to a certain one-eyed creepy-crawly. Plankton: Well played, Krabs, well played indeed. But, as usual, this one-eyed creepy-crawly is one step ahead of you! [Plankton pulls down a chart] You can't beat Plan B, you can't beat it! Ah, this is going to be so sweet! Karen, we are going on a luxury cruise! Karen the Computer: A cruise, just the two of us?! Oh, Plankton! [She cries out of joy but soon stops] Hey, if this is another scheme to steal the secret formula, you can leave me home! Plankton: No, of course not! [He gets rid of the chart] Just think of it as our second honeymoon. Karen: Don't you have to have a first honeymoon before you embark on a second? Plankton: Why don't I bump those vacation settings up a sminch? [Plankton turns up Karen's vacation settings] Karen: Oh, Plankton, this second honeymoon is gonna be so great! Plankton: [Pulling a big suitcase] Yeah, it's going to be groovy, babe. Now a quick check of the vacation inventory. Suntan lotion, sungla**, d**h laser... Karen: Got it! [Karen shoots a d**h laser and splits the suitcase in half] Did you see the pretty laser, honey? Plankton: See it?! It almost split me in half! Karen: Whoops, sorry! I'm just so excited about our cruise, cruisey cruise cruise, ha ha ha! Cruise, cruise! [Plankton turns down Karen's vacation settings] Cruise, ha ha ha, cruise... Plankton: Gotta rethink that vacation algorithm when we get back. [The next scene is on the huge luxury ocean cruise ship. A band is playing and fish are relaxing on deck] Plankton: [Plankton and Karen are relaxing on deck] Nothing tops kicking back next to my loving computer wife and soaking up the rays. Karen: Oh, I hope I don't get screen burn. Plankton: Let me give you a hand with that, honey. [Plankton puts sunscreen on Karen's screen] Karen: Oh, Plankton, you're such a sweet husband when you aren't obsessing over that stupid secret formula! [Plankton sees SpongeBob pushing Mr. Krabs along the deck in a mobile chair] Mr. Krabs: Weee, ah ha ha! Plankton: There he is, that swabby fool. Your turn now, Krabs. Karen: Plankton, what are you denouncing now? Plankton: Um, oh, the d'oeuvre guy, he's late with my nibbles again. Karen: Oh, don't get all worked up, Plankton. Lets just focus on spending some quality time together alone for a change. [Plankton spots Mr. Krabs again] Mr. Krabs: Ah, ha ha ha! Now push me back to the top, push me to the top! D'oeuvre Guy: Would you like a nibble, sir? Plankton: Is that Kelp Cheese? [Plankton grabs the cheese, but it's to heavy for him, so he falls with the cheese on his head. Karen takes a photo of him] Karen: That snack is as big as you are! Ha ha ha ha! Plankton: Very funny, Karen. Perhaps you should of married a pile of cheese. [He gets an idea] That's it! [Plankton shapes the cheese to look like him and sneaks away. He once again sees Mr. Krabs] Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob: Ha ha ha! Plankton: [Trying to get up the stairs] Un! Eh! Un! Un! Eh! Mr. Krabs: Ah ha ha! Weee! Ha ha ha! Ar ar ar ar! Plankton: [panting] AHHHH! [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob run over Plankton] Mr. Krabs: Did you hear that? [Plankton moans and hides from them] I could've sworn that I heard Plankteron! SpongeBob: Hey, me too. Mr. Krabs: Oh, well. One more time around the deck! [Plankton comes back to where he was relaxing before. He gets rid of the cheese] Plankton: I'm so exhausted! How's it going, honey? Karen: Zzzzz...yawn... hi, Plankton, I must of activated sleep mode. Oh, what a great idea this was getting away from your usual shenanigans. Plankton: Yeah, heh heh, sure is. [He spots Mr. Krabs] Uh, just sit back while I ma**age your wheels. [He ma**ages her wheels] Karen: Now your making me so tired...zzzz....zzzz... Plankton: Sleep well, babe, he he he he. [SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are in the sauna. Plankton is in the water bowl and nearly gets scooped up by SpongeBob] Plankton: Whew, that was close. [A fish scoops him up] Bubble Bust: Boy, I'm so sweaty. [T'he fish pours the water down his back. Plankton is then sliding towards the inside of the fish's swimsuit] Plankton: AGGHHHHH! [Plankton falls into the fish's swimsuit] I hate you, Krabs. [Now Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are playing shuffleboard on deck. Plankton is under one of the pucks] Mr. Krabs: Wahoo! Plankton: You're not getting away this time! Mr. Krabs: I'm feeling lucky! [Mr. Krabs hits the puck that Plankton is under] Plankton: AGGHHHH! [Mr. Krabs is now water-skiing behind the ship. SpongeBob and Plankton are watching him] Mr. Krabs: Oh yeah! SpongeBob: Go Mr. Krabs! Plankton: I don't care anymore! Formula or no formula, I'm taking you down! [Plankton takes out a knife to cut the rope attached to Mr. Krabs] Mr. Krabs: Ar ar ar ar! SpongeBob: [Just then, the ship malfunctions and tips left and right] Woah! Aahh! Plankton: [Plankton then falls into the water] AAHHHHH! [Underwater, Plankton comes to close to the propellor and gets cut in half] Alright, alright! I give up! I know what I'm beat! Mr. Krabs: Oo, what's all this? Free Land Food, sounds so exotic. [He picks up a piece of corn. he sniffs it] Huh, this looks promising. [He takes a bite, but immediately spits it out. It lands in SpongeBob's mouth] That tastes like putrified coral stems dipped in rotten bu*ter sauce. SpongeBob: Yeah. Mr. Krabs: Uh, I don't know how anyone can stand this slop. It makes me miss our grub over back at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob, be a good man-servant and fix me up a Krabby Patty, would ya? SpongeBob: A good fry cook is never far from his grill, sir. [SpongeBob takes out a suitcase that transforms a grill] Sadie Rechid : What is that delicious smell? Fred Rechid : I don't know, but I want it, whatever it is! SpongeBob: Order up, Mr. Krabs! [Mr . Krabs is about to eat the Krabby Patty when suddenly tons of people line up to order a Krabby Patty] Mr. Krabs: He he hey! Looks like we have a business venture on our hands. This vacation just got a whole lot more lookerin' if you know what I'm sayin'. Krabby Patties! Come and get your Krabby Patties! Plankton: [dressed up as an old English folk] Ahem, good day sirs, I would like to pilfer your, I mean, purchase a Krabby Patty. Mr. Krabs: Hm, watch me s**er this guy. That will be a mire one hunderad dollars. Plankton: That's all? Why certainly, he he he. [Plankton hands Mr. Krabs $100 and Mr. Krabs hands Plankton the Krabby Patty] Mr. Krabs and Plankton: Ah he he he he... Mr. Krabs: Come to daddy! [Mr. Krabs sniffs the $100 bill] Hey, wait a minute, there's chum all over this bill. Hey, buddy! Where did you get this? Plankton: From the same place this is going, the Chum Bucket laboratory! Nice doing business, Krabs! he he he he! [Plankton gets away on a jet-pack] Mr. Krabs: Nooooo! SpongeBob: Stand back, sir. Leave this to your trusty man-servant. [SpongeBob starts to chase Plankton] Plankton: Ah ha ha ha ha! [Plankton sprays smoke into SpongeBob's face] Choke on that, you big..omf! [Plankton hits Karen's screen. SpongeBob takes the Krabby Patty back] Karen: I knew that you were up to something. I can't believe you'd try and fool me for your own selfish needs. My second honeymoon, ruined! [Karen cries] Plankton: Well, technically it's your first. Karen: Oh, would you can it already? I guess I have no choice, but to turn up the settings on my vacation set. [She turns up her own vacation settings] Plankton: Bu...but I don't think that's such a good...[Karen goes crazy once again and starts firing a laser beam through the middle of the ship. The ship splits in two and starts sinking as people start jumping over the edge and paddling away in lifeboats. As people row away in lifeboats, the captain of the ship is one of the many on the lifeboats] Cruise Ship Captain: Oh, if I wasn't on parole! Mr. Krabs: [He and SpongeBob were looking over the edge of the ship] Me costumers! Aw, this vacation is a total bust! Karen: [Plankton is paddling her away in a lifeboat] Thanks, my sweet little gondolier. This is going to be the best..[She fires the laser]... honeymoon ever!