Spike Jones - People Are Funnier Than Anybody lyrics

Everyone say to begin the begin, but no-one she begins him, so I will tell you how. First you lift your right leg, like this. Then you lift your left leg, like this. Then you lift both your legs together, like this. There must be an easier way to do this, I think. This is our philosophy This is our philosophy And we're sure, that you'll agree People are funnier that anybody Woman needs five dollars bad Beauty facial must be had Husband can't spare the money, of course But he puts ten dollars on the nose of a horse Wife can't see well enough to drive Car through garage-doors twelve foot wide But on husbands suit of grey She can spot a blond hair from a block away This is our philosophy This is our philosophy And we're sure, that you'll agree People are funnier that anybody Husband plays poker and enjoys Sitting up all of night with the boys But at home with his wife he'll fight If he has to sit ten minutes with the baby at night Wife runs faster than any gale When she hears of a one-cent sale "I'm saving you money" to her husband she'll blab But to get to the sale she takes a taxi-cab This is our philosophy This is our philosophy And we're sure, that you'll agree People are funnier that anybody Man gets married, says it's one good deal He waited years for a homecooked meal When wife has nice hot dinner on plate He comes home from the poolroom two hours late When single man kiss his girl goodnight He gets filled with thrilled delight But when husband kiss his wife, to say the least He gets his nose caught in a curler and his whole face greased