Social Anxiety - Catatonia lyrics

It's these thoughts that keep me buried in the blackest of places Hey baby, can't you see that I'm a plague of the ancients? In this life I have worn the mask of one million faces But I'm just like everyone else, wearied and anxious These catacombs echo the thoughts of a thousand dead But all the corpses and skeletons hang out in my head Hey baby, can't you see that I'm still cold and catatonic With a flow and vocabulary that borders on neurotic You sold me euthanasia with the hopes I'd be your savior But I'm no son of god; I wasn't born in a manger Hey baby, can't you see that I'm still battling d**h spells? Even when I'm happy, my head is still a living hell I've settled for a life that distracts me from myself The thoughts that keep me up at night leave me overwhelmed I'm the better part of valor painted a shade of pallor You've turned me pallid as we watched the summer rain showers I found the devil when I dug way down deep It turns out this whole time he lived inside of me I found the poet that was searching for sleep He was clinging to the words that paranoia freed I've walked this fine line between d**h and sobriety And it didn't get me anything but notoriety I've painted the sky red with angered threats But what does it mean when the only road left is d**h? I've tried so hard to get to the bottom of me But I'm like quicksand; there is no end underneath You all keep trying to tell the world I sing But I don't sing I scream until my throat bleeds Hey baby, can't you see I've made a mess of me? But if I'm a sinner you must be my christening I've got the darkest of habits and pen that ravages It composes symphonies that fight like savages My heart is a sepulcher where angels roam Keeping watch over the demons you turned to stone There's beauty in the chaos that constitutes my mind My head is battlefield scarred with landmines Happiness is a warm gun filled with blanks And there's a pain in my chest where my heart got shanked Accompanied by the noise of one thousand engines And television static that can alter perceptions I will make the earth quake while you all sit and pray Cuz you've never ever heard music done this way The distortion in my head is a symptom I crave And the delusions in my mind keep me enslaved But at the end of the day everything is okay Because you calmed the voices that lead me astray With a flick of the wrist you brushed away my pain Because we both know that agony is so pa**e