Sho Baraka - Half of Me lyrics

Half of me just walked away And the other half is trying not to stay Help me see the hope that's past the rain Restore the joy within me and Speak to me thru the pain This kind of news would make a grown man cry The kind of man who knows the answers but he still asks why Why are you down cast oh my soul My team expects so much from me, I can't let them know That I'm not finding joy and my faith's dying slow I gotta go on preaching I gotta go on with the show Gotta grace the stage, I gotta make the crowd say oh Only problem is I'm not believing in the words I flow So I look to sky I know the hour has come Please remove this thorn from me cuz my soul feels numb I got these liars in my head asking where my faiths gone I don't feel happy and I don't even care to fake for them They think me showing pain is the denial of Christ Because my tears up in my food all day and night Half of me hopes in the Lord and knows I'll praise again The other half wants an excuse to wallow in my sin They say count it all joy, I got questions about how Theres answers after d**h but I need answers right now I know this to shall pa**, whether slow or fast Loosen my grip on the world and for you I grasp (2x) He feels he fled temptation to long, so He's tried of fighting He no longer finds his marriage exciting She's drowning in depression in the rain She can't maintain, Lord can you help her ease the pain A father gets news that his newborn son has complications He has no idea what he's faced with He thinks no prom, no college, no athletic fun No matter his disabilities I'm not ashamed of my son Lord I pray with all my heart that when his life on earth is done He'll understand that you and the son are one One families prays together for financial needs Father feels inadequate cuz he aint worked in weeks He been laid off he may loose his car and home He thinks what good is a man who cant provide for his own He sees the pain in wife and children's eyes Contemplating suicide cuz dead men don't cry Lord give him eyes to see past the pain That his value in life, shouldn't come with things I know this to shall pa**, whether slow or fast They are losing their grip I hope for you they grasp (2x) I wont let this current pain master me What is pain actually Lets not address it causally but I don't want to fear pain Lets count it all joy its is gain Dear life is in my palms and I'm holding on Strength is an illusion right along with this calm that I'm on and I'm feeling far gone- Cause half of me is hoping that my eyes won't open in morn' Sorrow is my tongue hear my moans I'm eager for redemption but I know There's more than meets the eye to the thorns in my side So I cry refusing all the lies Pain is my ally when aligned to who you are There's more to my scars so I know there's more to yours I'm resting in your arms I'm resting in the your wrists I'm pressing with a limp pain is purposed through your gift I'm strengthening my grip may this faith in u persist And when this half insists I pray u breathe in me lament Amazing is your grace cause while I'm holding you it seems The truth of the matter is your really holding me