Sarah Saltzberg - Woe is Me lyrics

LOGAINNE (spoken) I'd just like to take one moment to thank my two fathers Who have been so supportive of me in all of my endeavors Thank you dads! CARL We hate losers DAN (spoken) No one likes a loser! CARL Which is why (spoken) we discipline God hates losers! DAN (spoken) But he loves you! CARL Because losers do not know how to win DAN (spoken) And we have faith in you CARL (spoken) Yes we do! DAN (spoken) Yes we do! CARL (spoken) Go get ‘em! LOGAINNE I hope you can love me, America (spoken) I'm gunning for first prize! (sung) Here's why you should love me, America My needs I cannot overemphasize I make myself crazy Being what my dads hope I'll be But what about me dads? What about me? (spoken) Jesus Christ! (sung) What about me? CARL (spoken) Practice your breathing, Logainne LOGAINNE Though I practice yoga I don't breathe I try not to disappoint But still I Disappoint the dads Who my friends mock Kids are mean Kids'll talk All my so-called friends roll their eyes They're incredibly petty Because my dads are my dads And alright enough already ALL Woe is me Woe is me LOGAINNE Which is why I gotta win This spelling bee CARL (spoken) Take a picture for her BM LOGAINNE (spoken) Dad! DAN (spoken) Don't call her BM, Carl CARL (spoken) Sorry, her birth mother LOGAINNE (spoken) Peggy Jenkins! DAN (spoken) She'd be very proud if she could see you spell! LOGAINNE My birth mother lives in Kansas, Mo In a trailer In a park ALL Tornados LOGAINNE Every now and then She sends a card Life and men, she writes Are hard She would like to meet me When I've grown and I've burst like a comet But I'm so stressed By my stress I just wanna up and vomit ALL Woe is me Woe is me LOGAINNE Which is why I gotta win This spelling ALL Be smart Be cool Be an adult Be remarkably a joy in social situations LOGAINNE Woe is Me Woe is Me ALL (overlapping Logainne) Be smart, be cool Be smart, be cool Be smart, be cool Be smart, be LOGAINNE, DADS Which is why I gotta win This spelling bee ALL (overlapping Logainne) Which is why she's gotta win This spelling bee