Portishead - Nylon Smile lyrics

I'd like to laugh at what you said, but I just can't find a smile I wonder why I can't, I struggle with myself Hoping I might change a little Hoping that I might be someone I wanna be Looking out I want to know someone might care Looking out I want a reason to be there 'Cause I don't know what I've done to deserve you and I don't know what I'll do without you Looking out I want to know some way might clear Looking out I want a reason to repair 'Cause I don't know what I've done to deserve you And I don't know what I'll do without you I can't see nothing good, nothing is so bad I never had the chance to explain exactly what I meant