Pete Atkin - Lonesome Levis Lane lyrics

Atkin-James Now down in Nashville lives a man who makes a million bucks a week Singin' country music like it should be sung He don't sound too impressive if you only hear him speak But when he sings his vocal chords are full of dung His hawkish eyes are hooded, not with sun but from the strain Of a slight myopia he won't admit His thighs are well-developed from a lifetime kickin' sh** And his monicker is Lonesome Levis Lane Lonesome Levis, Lonesome Levis, Lonesome Levis Lane Now he's been called a ravin' fascist by the communists and blacks But the truth is he's an independent man And it kinda disappoints him he gets no relief on tax Buyin' guided missiles for the Ku Klux Klan His noble teeth are gritted into pretzels from the pain Of heels so high he's standin' on his toes But a tang of bovine ordure still comes twangin' through his nose And his monicker is Lonesome Levis Lane Lonesome Levis, Lonesome Levis, Lonesome Levis Lane Now Hitler, Himmler, Göring and all them other reds They never understood the power of a song If you want to plant a crazy notion in a million screamin' heads Just spell it out and make 'em sing along No it wouldn't shift the needle if you tried to weigh his brain But he pa**es for a thinker in his art He can shoot a cornball slogan like a bullet up the chart And his monicker is Lonesome Levis Lane Lonesome Levis, Lonesome Levis, Lonesome Levis Lane Now if you're drivin' down the turnpike tune to station KKK You'll hear that Nashville drone come slidin' through It's just as fresh as fallin' cowplop and as true as old dogtray That sentimental splurge is all for you In the concrete fields of Nashville they've grown their own John Wayne And he's singin' while he's s**in' blades of gra** The sphincter of a heifer don't exude more warmth and cla** And his monicker is Lonesome Levis Lane Yes his monicker is Lonesome But he's never on his ownsome As he rides that strawberry roansome On the stage his baritonesome's Like Godzilla on the phonesome Lettin' out a happy groansome After eatin' blood and bonesome That's a million-dollar moansome And his monicker is Lonesome Lonesome Levis Lane