Paul Gordon - She Thinks I'm Old lyrics

[Jervis Pendleton] Somewhat amusing A semblance of style Certainly better than many a letter I've read in a while But what makes me chuckle Lo and behold! She thinks I'm old And crusty, too, perhaps And cold She thinks I'm old A misconceit has taken hold Good punctuation The humour is quaint And reading her prose I suppose Is more fun than, say Watching the drying of paint But it's sort of funny In its own sort of way She thinks I'm grey Why she thinks so I can't say She thinks I'm grey And no doubt withering away But I made clear my obligation Does not include communication A girl could lead to aggravation Boys never question their patron's appearance They'd never consider such gross interference Boys are less trouble in my estimation My appearance should mean as little to her as hers to me! Is she fair or dark, fat or thin Short or tall, I've no idea! No wish to know What does it matter? She has a brain That's what matters She has a brain, and a wit And a fearless turn of phrase This girl deserves her chance! Charity Oh, charity The least I can do I've gladly lent a helping hand To those I never knew I have no need For thanks or praise I humbly share my wealth For through no effort of my own I have so much myself So I am duty-bound To help those with less It gives me some peace of mind To ease their distress Charity That is my success It's all that I possess