Jason Brannon - Star Wars Gangsta Rap Chronicles lyrics

[Darth Vader] I'm Lord Vader and I get respect Your planet and your life is what I expect Cape on my back, cable box on my chest Leather pants till my d**h, hot oil on my breath Don't be jealous of my boots, jealous of my gloves Jealous of my belt with the blinking lights cause I'm the dark lord with the power to diss Dismiss your feeble sk**s like they're Bantha piss [The Emperor] 1 2 3 and to the 4 It's the Emperor coming thru the door Ready to make an entrance so back on up I'm about to blow some planets up Yeah, you know I'm crazy And my skin is pale and pasty Cuz i'm evil, I like it when the planets go boom I once got busy in the d**h Star bathroom [Stormtrooper] Ra-Ta-Tat-Tat Stormtrooper attack A hundred laser blasts and I still can't hit jack Galactic recession you can't avoid I'll be unemployed if the d**h Star's destroyed [Luke Skywalker] 4 and 3 and 2 and 1 And when I'm on the mic sandpeople run Cause the force is flowing, the lightsaber glowing I drink my blue milk cuz it keeps me growing I'm not joking, my family's straight broken Now my Uncle Owen's in the front yard smoking A barbecue, for Aunt Beru Now there's nothing left on the farm to do Sold my landspeeder and I sold my comb And now I'm feathering my hair all alone I'm a Jedi with a license to k** I think you know what time it is, it's time to get ill [Han Solo] In my vest I'm the best smuggla Light beer chuggla, Leia's main snuggla Shakin' loan sharks when the Falcon starts And Chewie's k**ing Gundarks with them Wookiee farts [Princess Leia] I'm Leia all up in your face I'm the only chick in outer space Gold bikini there is no other I got to first base with my brother [Lando Calrissian] I'm not intergalactically known But I wear a blue cape at home Lost the Falcon, I was low on cash Don't talk trash about my mustache I can swindle, I'll get crooked I had Han but Vader took him Now look what we have here I'm still balling year after year [Obi-Wan Kenobi] Public Enemy Obi-One Stormtroopers said freeze but they got none Can I make them say I never had a laser gun But it's the Jedi tricks I'm playing on your mind son Cuz I'm old Ben eating Uncle Ben's In my burlap Depends, no next of kin I'll tell ya about the twins and try to make amends With my old friends, Obi out and I'm ghost again [C3-PO] 6 million forms of ill communication E-chu-ta, no need for translation Odds of me complaining is 1 to 1 Jabba never wears any pants for fun [Jabba the Hutt] (Raps in Huttese) I'm Obese, I never count the calories A freak show gallery is my reality Love them slave girls but i need some more More people snacks for the Rancor [C3-PO] Who's the mack, is it R2-D2? Holograms every time that he sees you Always plugging into systems unprotected Is your 5 and a quarter floppy drive infected? [Yoda] Swamp water I drink and root leaf I eat Three dirty toes on my green wrinkled feet Snakes in my bed, can't get any sleep Training's complete can I borrow a sheet? I wish I was 3 foot taller I wish I was a baller I wish I had a soft shell turtle I would call her I wish I had a snake in a hat not a Womprat with a Tydirium Impala Yeah Boy Star Wars fans never die They just multiply Word to your mother Rest I need, rest Forever sleep [Outro] Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars Star Wars