Doug Anthony All Stars - Friends lyrics

'you know a wise man once said, never judge a book by its cover, always read the whole thing in the bloody book shop and then decide if you wish to purchase it. A friend of mine was judged, he was a bit of a dirty book, he was a necrophiliac who k**ed his partners, is that wrong? You see..' He was quiet, he was shy a stay-at-home sort of guy Someone you'd trust your sister with he had a twinkle in his eye But they said he was psychotic They called him psychotically disturbed They said he was mentally unbalanced They called him a schizophrenic ma** murderer With severe fractious personality disorders They used their jargonistic words so he k**ed and mutilated Served his victim on a tray but Dennis Nielson was my friend, OKAY? Tuesday nights we'd go out bowling and he'd blow those pins to hell He'd watch what he'd eat and it watched him as well 'Coochie coochie coo, time to go to sleep' He was my friend, a friend, we can all be friends If we just let this little hurt between us mend Let me tell you about my friend, boys I met him at the circus he was hiding in the dark Pulling funny faces, making people laugh Yet they say he was a freak, they say he was genetically deformed They should have sold his body to science the minute he was born But he'd just smile and say, "(slurp! slurp!) I think you've all been very kind." Yes, yes, John Merrick, the elephant man was a friend of mine 'Why doesn't that come as a big f**ing surprise' And we'd all go out on blind dates hessian bags over our heads We never slept like normal kids, no, we'd sit straight up in bed He was my friend, a friend We can all be friends If we just let this little hurt between us mend He was a painter, quite artistic he had that suave panache A tasteful brown shirt, a cute toothbrush moustache He loved his German Shepherd and walking by the babbling brook And watching blond haired, blue eyed children setting fire to their books Yet they say he was a monster, the leader of the Reich But Adolf Hitler he was my friend. Alright? Alright! And he'd love to go out dancing, really dug the human league And that song by Alice Cooper "Only Women Bleed" He was my friend, a friend, we can all be friends If we just let this little hurt between us mend Friends, friends, we can all be friends If we just let the little hurt between us mend He k**ed 10 million of the petty bourgeoisie But Joseph Stalin was a friend to me Some say he shot the president is that crime Lee Harvey Oswald was a friend of mine He was considered the scourge of eastern Europe But Ghangis Khan was my good rocking buddy She was cute her closes barely fit her But Myra Henley was my baby-sitter Charlie Manson never k**ed Sharon Tate He was lucky chucky to his mates David Karesh never died in that fire He's our friend our buddy our messiah Jack the ripper gave his heart to me Idiah Min and I played quoits Margaret Thatcher was a pitcher not a catcher Nori Ager was a friend of mine Pol Pot was a friend of mine Pina Shey was a friend of mine Michael Jackson was a friend of mine 'Whoa, whoa, whoa, time!' 'I just think he's very talented' 'You push you f**ing push until you get some sort of reaction from people!' 'good taste bad taste! you push the f**ing line every time!' 'I'm sorry about that. If people found that line about Michael Jackson offensive there, Um lets just look at it logically for a second there rich, you and Michael Jackson best friends right? The only other friends he's got in the world are a chimpanzee and a gazelle. That's you, a chimpanzee and a gaz..yeah that sorta makes sense' 'You're just jealous because he's taller that you, and whiter, and nicer' 'Don't point, you do not point, it's f**ing rude to point, don't f**ing point!' 'No mummy don't put knitting needles in my ears mummy, No mummy don't put knitting needles in my ears mummy, Mummy don't put knitting needles.oh, oh' 'Can't we love one another? Even Eidopus had a mother' Friends friends, we can all be friends 'Everybody clap your hands, clap your hands for all the children in the world, lets share this moment forever, nobody can take it away, no-one will take this moment away, stop clapping' If we just let the little hurt 'Bloody Richard f**ed up the song again' 'Can you leave Richard alone for five seconds' 'fu*k RICHARD!' 'I DO! I just tell him we're moving the furniture around the house' Between us.. 'That's funny cause I tell him we're taking his temperature' Friends friends, friends friends, lets be friends