Diane Hine - Wattle and Gum lyrics

Rose Gum and Goldie Wattle live quietly on Earth; retired, in their eighties, fond of handicrafts and verse. Goldie likes embroidery and crocheting lovers' knots. Rose likes quilting, alchemy and boiling things in pots. Goldie's yarns were tangling. Horrendous knots accrued. Rose immersed the mangled wool in Lubricating Brew. The cooled concoction coddled. She touched the slippery stew. The yarn leapt out and swaddled her in slimy strings of glue. It set like instant plaster and Goldie fetched a saw, but though a near disaster, opportunity knocked on the door. Earth is the only safe planet in the year three thousand and ten. Elsewhere murderous bandits plague pioneering men. A worldwide jurisdiction puts prices on their heads and it's left to bounty hunters to return them alive or dead. So Goldie bought a cruiser which Rose named ‘Tenterhooks' and posing as naïve tourists, they go in search of crooks. They look like easy pickings as they clutch their knitting bags and leering criminal misfits snarl 'Hand ‘em over hags'! The crims reach in for purses, but yarn leaps out instead and despite their startled curses, cocoons them toe to head. They scour the solar system; its seediest crannies and nooks, collecting cast yarn captives, bedizened with crochet hooks. When the ladies tire of knitting, they track down thieving scum; a pastime that's befitting bounty hunters Wattle and Gum.