Diane Hine - Edelweiss Petty and Hope Make a Seaside Discovery lyrics

(1900 - or thereabouts) Hope: There's always so much driftwood on this beach in winter. I'm glad we decided to walk here. EP: Most of it has been swept down the river from the forest, buffeted by the sea and piled onto the rocks - marvellous. There are bits of old jetty too. Hope: The smooth pale branches all lying atop each other in a convoluted manner remind me of something only I'm too refined to know what. EP: Shipwrecks? Hope: No...um....I've thought of a poem...I think it's a Lai. EP: Go ahead. Hope: Ahem.......Driftwood. Unclothed trunks frolic in orgiastic close press. Ocean spray salt flicks splayed branches with slick caress and roots, priapic uppoint with graphic excess. What do you think Edelweiss? EP: Er....I'm not sure that uppoint is a real word dear. Hope: Your turn. EP: Okay.....um.........ahem..... Drift lumber. Timbers are missives of punctured cursive scribbles as riddled as sieves by the subversive nibbles of slack shipworm spivs and penetrative Gribbles. What do you think Hope? .....Oh.....you're not there. Hope: Here I am! Look what I found wedged between rocks while you were prattling. A bottle with rolled paper inside and a cork - how thrilling! EP: Open it. What does it say? Hope: Hmm.......TO EDELWEISS VIA AMAZON RIVER AND ATLANTIC OCEAN CURRENT Oh Edelweiss! It's to you! EP: Nonsense, there must be thousands of women named Edelweiss. Hope: It says........ I FESTER! I BLOAT! I'm WOEFULLY SMOTE BY DARTS! A SNAKE'S AT MY THROAT! I NEED ANTIDOTE QUICK SMART! MY LOVE, SEND A BOAT AND TO YOU I'LL DEVOTE MY HEART! ! L. How awfully, terribly, tragically romantic. Do you know any one called L. who went to the Amazon? EP: Hmm.......well there was an archaeologist. Hope: Gosh, it's written in the form of a Lai, as we understand the term Edelweiss. EP: Well it can't be him then, he'd never stoop so low. Hope: Wait, there's more....it's faded...compa** directions.....and THE BOY STOOD ON THE BURNING DECK. EP: Good grief! It must be him. Hope: Why, was that his favourite line of poetry? EP: It was his only line of poetry. Hope: Then it must be him - a long lost beau. We must rescue him at once. EP: Must we? Hope: It's a sign! EP: Obviously it's a sign - written on paper and stuffed into a bottle. Hope: No, I mean it was meant to be - fate - destiny. Why else would we have found the bottle when it could have travelled anywhere. EP: Coincidence. Anyway, the bottle could have been floating for many years. It's probably too late. Hope: But we must try. EP: I suppose we must. Hope: An adventure - how exciting! I'm sure my ‘usband Captain Bryce will want to help. EP: I'm sure he won't. Hope: Please don't be distressed Edelweiss. We'll find him - I promise. EP: What bothers me though, is L's Lai poem. The second last line has six syllables, but shouldn't it only have five? Hope: I expect his circumstances were dreadfully stressful. EP: True......but there's always some excuse.