Demond Dickens - Boredom lyrics

this life is way too complicated. so I think it would be easier if I just went out and got faded. but that's not me, naw it's not d. all of the things that I see, I can't picture perfectly it's getting hazy. why? I ain't smoke I ain't drink ain't pop a pill. this is crazy. it's getting too real. having outer body experiences. too many disappearances. am I losing my mind? or did I just put on my dark lenses? I had some instances back then that could have made a difference on this outcome that I am presented with. wait how am I presented and what is being represented? I feel some resentment down in my core. and I'm tempted to do things I haven't done before but why now at this particular moment temptation is this burning sensation that is present deep within my heart. and the expectation is unclear to me as of right now so that's the scary part. love, hate, it's all the same. joy, pain, in a whole different ball game. while I speculate as the suspicions that circulate in my head starting to accumulate words that were never said I guess I can't communicate. trying to muster up the strength the courage to speak my mind. although I know the truth hurts and I try my best to be kind. so I hold my tongue sooner or later I will erupt abruptly on those who love me or had loved me. who cares, if you do too bad, you should have known that this life ain't fair so yeah, call me rude and inconsiderate. I have no feelings so I will act barbaric and belligerent. matter of fact call me a tyrant waiting for the moon and stars to make the perfect alignment. so vibrant I want to grow old and settle for retirement. but the chances of that would be heaven sent because the innocent get shot daily and are heaven sent but for what reasons? because you were friends with him but he changed up on you like the four seasons? and you let one off missed but he got hit instead what a mess. well that's a rude awakening I guess. but life is a test and you will surely fail if you don't give it your best. so I'm out here 7 days a week 24 hours not getting any rest. I feel a sharp pain in my chest. but i'ma fight through it to make my way to success more or less.