Deadly Ever After - The Fat Man lyrics

[Hook + Intro] Everybody loves the fat man And oh how the fat man can love (x4) Yo, (the fat man, uncut, b**h | the fat man, clean, chick) Don't mess with me or I'll blow up like a f**ing landmine And do the same to your school that those two kids did [Columbine] Well, at least I even f**ing graduated from College Cuz those first twelve grades didn't give me no damn knowledge And you could even set a world record How bout "how many [planes] can you aim at the [World Trade Center]" Or "how many offensive things can you put in a rap song" (I don't know, like 25?) Come on, b**h, let's all sing-along On stage, the ladies gon' all throw they bra's Or if they're [atheists,] they'll probably throw it at [the cross] When I took a hiatus from rapping, I got a 9-to-5 You n***as better be glad I'm even f**ing alive That sh** was hard, harder than me watching p**n While my dick's getting poked by a thorn Eating candy corns, and it's not even Halloween And I have freaking genital warts and it hurts when I take a wee-wee The police siren go wee-wee, let's go There was this one young a** fellow He did a lot of h**n, the name was [Dan Manero] And he was really mellow, but his brain was gone to mush, like a motherf**ing cup of Jello And his favorite band was N'Sync He would listen to "Bye Bye Bye" while [cumming in the sink] [Manero] would always threaten to stab me with a meat cleaver And he would smash my f**ing face on top of a parking meter [Hook] [Verse Two] Did j**s drink booze and apple juice Thats the best mix when you see Tom Green hump a dead moose I hate when I hear someone got molested How many offensive jokes can I make before I get arrested And my old house is infested With some rhymes I never had One rhyme was called "I Have A Dad" That sh** sounded sad And if it did, I'm glad I mean, that would be rad What if pouring salt on a snail Would get you 25 to life in jail Everybody hates the fat man But they love the skinny Man, I'm seeing all yellow God damn it, Pooh, The, Winnie Saying n***a more times than [silence] When I got a lot on my mind, I just do the Codeine, ya see I don't know what anything means The only thing restoring me is puffing on the leaf My car broke down and I'm walking down the road My luck, I f**ing crash the car in drunk mode Then I order a mail order bride that I don't even need Then for the real effect, I do the overload on weed Then I take a real big bite of a Big Mac Breath so f**ing bad you need some acid and a Tic-Tac Doing a rap battle and my opponents so wack This n***a's disses be hurting my god damn back [Hook]