Daniel Spinks - ​small pale humans: ten lyrics

I accidentally told my wife I wish I had a psychiatrist. "Why." "So I could tell her I wish I were a lesbian." Which is mostly true. Sometimes I wish I were an architect. I guess that could technically still make me a lesbian. "So you want to wear women's clothes." "No, I do that already." My wife couldn't tell I was joking. She started making that weird breathing sound she makes before she cries. "I'm just kidding." "Then you don't want to be a lesbian." "Oh no, I do. I wasn't joking about that. Just about wearing women's clothes." I thought it would have been a really good moment for her to slap me across the face, like they do in movies. She just sat on the bed hyperventilating. I touched her shoulder and scrunched up my eyes. I hoped she could tell this was my empathy face. In my mind over and over I thought really hard: SLAP ME IN MY FACE PLEASE SLAP ME IN MY FACE. I know she heard me. At our wedding the priest said we were one flesh.