Dane Cook - The friend nobody likes lyrics

So I'm hangin' out with all of my buddies, and uh, I realize something I realize something. Think of the group of people you've known The longest in your life. Think of the group of friends you've hung out With the most, maybe you're all here tonight And this is what I realized, I had an epiphany, and here it is, right here: There is one person, in every group of friends, that nobody f**ing likes You basically keep them there, to hate their guts When that person is not around the rest of your little base camp Your hobby, is cutting that person down Example: "Karen, is always a douchebag." Every group has a Karen and she is always a bag of douche And when she's not around, you just look at each other and say "God, Karen, she's such a douchebag!" Until she walks up, then you're like "Hey, what's up Kar-? Kar-. What's up Kar-?" There's always that one person - and I'm lookin' out and some of guys Are like "Umm, I disagree." Well you're the person - You're the person nobody likes [Person from audience mumbles] "That's so true." I know, it is so true, and that's why it's funny It is so true, that's why it's funny, because, it's so true, hence, funny Your whole life that person has been there That's how Brian is in our group. Nobody likes Brian Yet everywhere we go, Brian would show up Even if we didn't tell him where we were going We would go someplace and he would do that I Just Found You run "H-h-h-h-hi guys. What's up guys?" And one of us would always see him and warn the rest of the group We'd be like "f**ing Brian is coming." "What?" [whispered] "f**ing Brian is coming." That's his name, f**ing Brian Is Coming I heard a rumor, when he was born, even the doctor said "f**ing Brian is coming. Let's get this demon seed out of here." That's what I'm saying - quote, unquote And you can quote me on the quote, unquote