Cledus T. Judd - Plowboy lyrics

{spoken} Hand me that balloon right there Boy I used to love to do this when I was a kid Watch this...Hey, watch this girl Plowboy Ain't that funny? Plowboy {sound of a horse neighing} Well I'm a-packin' up my truck An I'm a-head down south Where real men pack their lips With dips in their mouth Start a moonshine still Sleep in a tent Buy some cheap livestock Find some land to rent Then I'm a Cledus T. it Up and down the farm With a couple of barns A baby calf in my arms You know I hate to brag But I'll be tilling the most Run a barbwire fence from post to post Keep shells in my gun Deer heads on my walls Live out in the sticks and wear overalls why because I wanna Find me a home in a cow town baby Where the buffalo roam Read the Farmer's Almanac for all the right reasons Make sure my crop is the top for next season Cledus T. is the farming freakazoid Yeah I'm heading down south sugar Because I wanna be a plowboy baby (With my "Go Braves" hat on my John Deere tractor) Plowboy baby (Redman pouch full of chewing tobaccer) Plowboy baby (Sleeping at night cause I work all day) Plowboy baby (You can smell my pigs from a mile away) I bet you'll hear my rooster crowing when the day begins He goes.. (Sounds of a rooster crowing) In lust for a hen Home schooling, home fries, good homemade wine We'll harvest the fields (But not before its time) Plant peas, and beets, green beans and rice Haul manure from the barn to fertilize And if the price is right I'm gonna sell my hay boy And let G-E-O-R-G-I-A know why they calling me The Plowboy baby (With my truck locked down into four wheel drive) Plowboy baby (Living like a king in a single wide) Plowboy baby (Sleeping at night and bushhoggin' all day) Plowboy baby (Thank god for Willie Nelson and Farm Aid) YEAH... Cledus T. you can call me a hick The only woman for me is a Dixie Chick I got two billy goats Week 'fore last Till my snapper gets fixed They'll be cuttin' my gra** Back hoeing, scare crowing, shoeing my horse You know a horse is a horse (Of Course, Of Course) Spruce up the spread gotta make it look right I gonna paint my barn red then paint my fence white UH! vidalias, tommy toe tomatoes Irrigate some ground for my sweet potatoes Break wild mares Farm like Quakers Got no love for you vegetable haters How I'm gonna buy my seed Sell my soul to the seed and feed My thumb is green just like my hay bailer Ain't no chickens in my yard keep em all in my trailer Dog named Ol' Yeller Kudzu is thick I'd slop my hog but I (Already fed it) I'm picking off ticks, scratching poison oak But I keep on s**ing thanks to calamine lotion (Plowboy) got a 4230 with my diesel whinin' (Plowboy) spend all my time on a big combine (plowboy) Praying at night it'll rain some day (Plowboy) You can smell my pigs from a mile away (Plowboy) Got my crop laid out and the sunshine shinin' (Plowboy) Got an old tin still with my moonshine shinin' (Plowboy) You can smell my swine