Aphra Behn - The Rover Act I Chapter II lyrics

SCENE II. A Long Street. Enter BELVILE, melanochy, BLUNT and FREDERICK FRED. Why, what the Devil ails the Colonel, in a time when all the World is gay, to look like mere Lent thus? Hadst thou been long enough in Naples to have been in love, I should have sworn some such Judgment had befall'n thee. BELV. No, I have made no new Amours since I came to Naples. FRED. You have left none behind you in Paris. BELV. Neither. FRED. I can't divine the Cause then; unless the old Cause, the want of Mony. BLUNT. And another old Cause, the want of a wench, would not that revive you? BELV. You're mistaken, NED. BLUNT Nay, 'Sheartlikins, then thou art past Cure. FRED. I have found it out; thou hast renew'd thy Acquaintance with the Lady that cost thee so many Sighs at the Siege of PAMPELONA pox on't, what d'ye call her. Her Brother's a noble SPANIARD Nephew to the dead General FLORINDA ay, FLORINDA And will nothing serve thy turn but that damn'd virtuous Woman, whom on my Conscience thou loves in spite too, because thou serest little or no possibility of gaining her? BELV. Thou art mistaken, I have Interest enough in that lovely Virgin's Heart, to make me proud and vain, were it not abated by the Severity of a Brother, who perceiving my Happiness FRED. Has civilly forbid thee the House? BELV. 'Tis so, to make way for a powerful Rival, the Vice-Roy's Son, who has the advantage of me, in being a Man of Fortune, a SPANIARD, and her Brother's Friend; which gives him liberty to make his Court, whilst I have recourse only to Letters, and distant Looks from her Window, which are as soft and kind as those which Heaven sends down on Penitents. BLUNT. Hey day! 'Sheartlikins, Simile! by this Light the Man is quite spoil'd FREDERICK, what the Devil are we made of, that we cannot be thus concern'd for a Wench? 'Sheartlikins, our Cupids are like the Cooks of the Camp, they can roast or boil a Woman, but they have none of the fine Tricks to set 'em off, no Hogoes to make the Sauce pleasant, and the Stomach sharp. FRED. I dare swear I have had a hundred as young, kind and handsome as thisFLORINDA; and Dogs eat me, if they were not as troublesome to me i'th' Morning as they were welcome o'er night. BLUNT. And yet, I warrant, he would not touch another Woman, if he might have her for nothing. BELV. That's thy Joy, a cheap who*e. BLUNT. Why, 'dsheartlikins, I love a frank soul when did you ever hear of an honest Woman that took a Man's Mony? I warrant 'em good ones But, Gentlemen, you may be free, you have been kept so poor with Parliaments and Protectors, that the little Stock you have is not worth preserving but I thank my Stars, I have more Grace than to forfeit my Estate by Cavaliering. BELV. Methinks only following the Court should be sufficient to entitle 'em to that. BLUNT. 'Sheartlikins, they know I follow it to do it no good, unless they pick a hole in my Coat for lending you Mony now and then; which is a greater Crime to my Conscience, Gentlemen, than to the Common-wealth. Enter WILLMORE. WILL. Ha! dear BELVILE! noble Colonel! BELV. WILLMORE! welcome ashore, my dear Rover! what happy Wind blew us this good Fortune? WILL. Let me salute you my dear FRED, and then command me How is't honest Lad? FRED. Faith, Sir, the old Complement, infinitely the better to see my dear madWILLMORE again Prithee why camest thou ashore? and where's the Prince? WILL. He's well, and reigns still Lord of the watery Element I must aboard again within a Day or two, and my Business ashore was only to enjoy my self a little this Carnival. BELV. Pray know our new Friend, Sir, he's but bashful, a raw Traveller, but honest, stout, and one of us. [Embraces .BLUNT WILL. That you esteem him, gives him an Interest here. BLUNT. Your Servant, Sir. WILL. But well Faith I'm glad to meet you again in a warm Climate, where the kind Sun has its god like Power still over the Wine and Woman. Love and Mirth are my Business in Naples; and if I mistake not the Place, here's an excellent Market for Chapmen of my Humor. BELV. See here be those kind Merchants of Love you look for. Enter several Men in masking Habits, some playing on Musick, others dancing after; Women drest like Curtezans, with Papers pinned to their Breasts, and Baskets of Flowers in their Hands. BLUNT. 'Sheartlikins, what have we here! FRED. Now the Game begins. WILL. Fine pretty Creatures! may a stranger have leave to look and love?—What's here—Roses for every Month! [Reads the Paper. BLUNT. Roses for every Month! what means that? BELV. They are, or wou'd have you think they're Curtezans, who herein Naples are to be hired by the Month. WILL. Kind and obliging to inform us Pray where do these Roses grow? I would fain plant some of 'em in a Bed of mine. Wom. Beware such Roses, Sir. WILL. A Pox of fear: I'll be baked with thee between a pair of Sheets, and that's thy proper Still, so I might but strow such Roses over me and under me Fair one, would you wou'd give me leave to gather at your Bush this idle Month, I would go near to make some Body smell of it all the Year after. BELV. And thou hast need of such a Remedy, for thou stinkiest of Tar and Rope-ends, like a Dock or Pesthouse. [The Woman puts herself into the Hands of a Man, and Exit. WILL. Nay, nay, you shall not leave me so. BELV. By all means use no Violence here. WILL. d**h! just as I was going to be damnably in love, to have her led off! I could pluck that Rose out-of his Hand, and even kiss the Bed, the Bush it grew in. FRED. No Friend to Love like a long Voyage at Sea. BLUNT. Except a Nunnery, FRED. WILL. d**h! but will they not be kind, quickly be kind? Thou know'st I'm no tame Sigher, but a rampant Lion of the Forest. Two Men drest all over with Horns of several sorts, making Grimaces at one another, with Papers pinn'd on their Backs, advance from the farther end of the Scene. BELV. Oh the fantastical Rogues, how they are dress'd! 'tis a Satir against the whole Sex. WILL. Is this a Fruit that grows in this warm Country? BELV. Yes: 'Tis pretty to see these Italian start, swell, and stab at the Word Cuckold, and yet stumble at Horns on every Threshold. WILL. See what's on their Back Flowers for every Night. [Reads. Ah Rogue! And more sweet than Roses of every Month! This is a Gardiner of Adam's own breeding. [They dance. BELV. What think you of those grave People? Is a Wake in Ess** half so mad or extravagant? WILL. I like their sober grave way, 'tis a kind of legal authorized Fornication, where the Men are not chid for't, nor the Women despised, as amongst our dull English; even the Monsieurs want that part of good Manners. BELV. But here in Italy a Monsieur is the humblest best bred Gentleman Duels are so baffled by Bravo's that an age shews not one, but between a Frenchman and a Hangman, who is as much too hard for him on the Piazza, as they are for a Dutchman on the new Bridge But see another Crew. Enter FLORINDA, HELLENA, and VALERIA, drest like Gipsies; CALLIS and STEPHANO, LUCETTA, PHILIPPO and SANCHO in Masquerade. HELL. Sister, there's your Englishman, and with him a handsom proper Fellow—I'll to him, and instead of telling him his Fortune, try my own. WILL. Gipsies, on my Life Sure these will prattle if a Man cross their Hands.[Goes to HELLENA] Dear pretty (and I hope) young Devil, will you tell an amorous Stranger what Luck he's like to have? HELL. Have a care how you venture with me, Sir, lest I pick your Pocket, which will more vex your English Humour, than an Italian Fortune will please you. WILL. How the Devil cam'st thou to know my Country and Humour? HELL. The first I guess by a certain forward Impudence, which does not displease me at this time; and the Loss of your Money will vex you, because I hope you have but very little to lose. WILL. Egad Child, thou'rt i'th' right; it is so little, I dare not offer it thee for a Kindness But cannot you divine what other things of more value I have about me, that I would more willingly part with? HELL. Indeed no, that's the Business of a Witch, and I am but a Gipsy yet Yet, without looking in your Hand, I have a parlous Guess, 'tis some foolish Heart you mean, an inconstant English Heart, as little worth stealing as your Purse. WILL. Nay, then thou dost deal with the Devil, that's certain Thou hast guess'd as right as if thou hadst been one of that Number it has languisht for I find you'll be better acquainted with it; nor can you take it in a better time, for I am come from Sea, Child; and Venus not being propitious to me in her own Element, I have a world of Love in store Would you would be good-natur'd, and take some on't off my Hands. HELL. Why I could be inclined that way but for a foolish Vow I am going to make to die a Maid. WILL. Then thou art damned without Redemption; and as I am a good Christian, I ought in charity to divert so wicked a design therefore prithee, dear Creature, let me know quickly when and where I shall begin to set a helping hand to so good a Work. HELL. If you should prevail with my tender Heart (as I begin to fear you will, for you have horrible loving Eyes) there will be difficulty in't that you'll hardly undergo for my sake. WILL. Faith, Child, I have been bred in Dangers, and wear a Sword that has been employ'd in a worse Cause, than for a handsome kind Woman—Name the Danger let it be any thing but a long Siege, and I'll undertake it. HELL. Can you storm? WILL. Oh, most furiously. HELL. What think you of a Nunnery wall? for he that wins me, must gain that first. WILL. A Nun! Oh how I love thee for't! there's no Sinner like a young Saint Nay, now there's no denying me: the old Law had no Curse (to a Woman) like dying a Maid; witness Jephtha's Daughter. HELL. A very good Text this, if well handled; and I perceive, Father Captain, you would impose no severe Penance on her who was inclined to console her self before she took Orders. WILL. If she be young and handsome. HELL. Ay, there's it but if she be not WILL. By this Hand, Child, I have an implicit Faith, and dare venture on thee with all Faults besides, 'tis more meritorious to leave the World when thou hast tasted and prov'd the Pleasure on't; then 'twill be a Virtue in thee, which now be pure Ignorance. HELL. I perceive, good Father Captain, you design only to make me fit for Heaven but if on the contrary you should quite divert me from it, and bring me back to the World again, I should have a new Man to seek I find; and what a grief that will be for when I begin, I fancy I shall love like any thing: I never try'd yet. WILL. Egad, and that's kind Prithee, dear Creature, give me Credit for a Heart, for faith, I'm a very honest Fellow Oh, I long to come first to the Banquet of Love; and such a swinging Appetite I bring Oh, I'm impatient. Thy Lodging, Sweetheart, thy Lodging, or I'm a dead man. HELL. Why must we be either guilty of Fornication or Murder, if we converse with you Men? And is there no difference between leave to love me, and leave to lie with me? WILL. Faith, Child, they were made to go together. LUCET. Are you sure this is the Man? [Pointing to BLUNT. SANCHO. When did I mistake your Game? LUCET. This is a stranger, I know by his gazing; if he be brisk he'll venture to follow me; and then, if I understand my Trade, he's mine: he's English too, and they say that's a sort of good natured loving People, and have generally so kind an opinion of themselves, that a Woman with any Wit may flatter 'em into any sort of Fool she pleases. BLUNT. 'Tis so she is taken I have Beauties which my false Gla** at home did not discover. [She often pa**es by BLUNT and gazes on him; he struts, and co*ks, and walks, and gazes on her. Flor. This Woman watches me so, I shall get no Opportunity to discover my self to him, and so miss the intent of my coming But as I was saying, Sir by this Line you should be a Lover. [Looking in his Hand. BELV. I thought how right you guess'd, all Men are in love, or pretend to be so Come, let me go, I'm weary of this fooling.[Walks away. Flor. I will not, till you have confess'd whether the Pa**ion that you have vow'd FLORINDA be true or false. [She holds him, he strives to get from her. BELV. FLORINDA! [Turns quick towards her. FLOR. Softly. BELV. Thou hast nam'd one will fix me here for ever. FLOR. She'll be disappointed then, who expects you this Night at the Garden gate, and if you'll fail not as let me see the other Hand you will go near to do she vows to die or make you happy. [Looks on Callis, who observes 'em. BELV. What canst thou mean? FLOR. That which I say Farewel. [Offers to go. BELV. Oh charming Sybil, stay, complete that Joy, which, as it is, will turn into Distraction! Where must I be? at the Garden gate? I know it at night you say I'll sooner forfeit Heaven than disobey. Enter DON PEDRO and other Masquers, and pa** over the Stage. Call. Madam, your Brother's here. FLOR. Take this to instruct you farther. [Gives him a Letter, and goes off. FRED. Have a care, Sir, what you promise; this may be a Trap laid by her Brother to ruin you. BELV. Do not disturb my Happiness with Doubts. [Opens the Letter. WILL. My dear pretty Creature, a Thousand Blessings on thee; still in this Habit, you say, and after Dinner at this Place. HELL. Yes, if you will swear to keep your Heart, and not bestow it between this time and that. WILL. By all the little Gods of Love I swear, I'll leave it with you; and if you run away with it, those Deities of Justice will revenge me. [Ex. all the Women except Lucetta. FRED. Do you know the Hand? BELV. 'Tis FLORINDA's. All Blessings fall upon the virtuous Maid. FRED. Nay, no Idolatry, a sober Sacrifice I'll allow you. BELV. Oh Friends! the welcom'st News, the softest Letter! nay, you shall see it; and could you now be serious, I might be made the happiest Man the Sun shines on. WILL. The Reason of this mighty Joy. BELV. See how kindly she invites me to deliver her from the threaten'd Violence of her Brother will you not a**ist me? WILL. I know not what thou mean'st, but I'll make one at any Mischief where a Woman's concerned but she'll be grateful to us for the Favor, will she not? BELV. How mean you? WILL. How should I mean? Thou know'st there's but one way for a Woman to oblige me. BELV. Don't profane the Maid is nicely virtuous. WILL. Who pox, then she's fit for nothing but a Husband; let her e'en go, Colonel. FRED. Peace, she's the Colonel's Mistress, Sir. WILL. Let her be the Devil; if she be thy Mistress, I'll serve her the way. BELV. Read here this Postscript [Gives him a Letter. WILL. [Reads.] At Ten at night at the Garden Gate of which, if I cannot get the Key, I WILL contrive a way over the Wall come attended with a Friend or two. Kind heart, if we three cannot weave a String to let her down a Garden Wall,'twere pity but the Hangman wove one for us all. FRED. Let her alone for that: your Woman's Wit, your fair kind Woman, will out trick a Brother or a Jew, and contrive like a Jesuit in Chains but see, NED BLUNT is stolen out after the Lure of a Damsel.[Ex. BLUNT and LUCET. BELV. So he'll scarce find his way home again, unless we get him cry'd by the Bell man in the Marketplace, and 'twou'd sound prettily a lost English Boy of Thirty. FRED. I hope 'tis some common crafty Sinner, one that will fit him; it may be she'll sell him for Peru, the Rogue's sturdy and would work well in a Mine; at least I hope she'll dress him for our Mirth; cheat him of all, then have him well favorably banged, and turn'd out naked at Midnight. WILL. Prithee what Humour is he of, that you wish him so well? BELV. Why, of an English Elder Brother's Humor, educated in a Nursery, with a Maid to tend him till Fifteen, and lies with his Grand-mother till he's of Age; one that knows no Pleasure beyond riding to the next Fair, or going up to London with his right Worshipful Father in Parliament time; wearing gay Clothes, or making honourable Love to his Lady Mother's Landry-Maid; gets drunk at a Hunting Match, and ten to one then gives some Proofs of his Prowess A pox upon him, he's our Banker, and has all our Cash about him, and if he fail we are all broke. FRED. Oh let him alone for that matter, he's of a damn'd stingy Quality, that will secure our Stock. I know not in what Danger it were indeed, if the Jilt should pretend she's in love with him, for 'tis a kind believing Coxcomb; otherwise if he part with more than a Piece of Eight geld him: for which offer he may chance to be beaten, if she be a who*e of the first Rank. BELV. Nay the Rogue will not be easily beaten, he's stout enough; perhaps if they talk beyond his Capacity, he may chance to exercise his Courage upon some of them; else I'm sure they'll find it as difficult to beat as to please him. WILL. 'Tis a lucky Devil to light upon so kind a Wench! FRED. Thou hadst a great deal of talk with thy little Gipsy, coud'st thou do no good upon her? for mine was hard-hearted. WILL. Hang her, she was some damn'd honest Person of Quality, I'm sure, she was so very free and witty. If her Face be but answerable to her Wit and Humour, I would be bound to Constancy this Month to gain her. In the mean time, have you made no kind Acquaintance since you came to Town? You do not use to be honest so long, Gentlemen. FRED. Faith Love has kept us honest, we have been all fir'd with a Beauty newly come to Town, the famous Paduana Angelica Bianca. WILL. What, the Mistress of the dead Spanish General? BELV. Yes, she's now the only ador'd Beauty of all the Youth in Naples, who put on all their Charms to appear lovely in her sight, their Coaches, Liveries, and themselves, all gay, as on a Monarch's Birth-Day, to attract the Eyes of this fair Charmer, while she has the Pleasure to behold all languish for her that see her. FRED. 'Tis pretty to see with how much Love the Men regard her, and how much Envy the Women. WILL. What Gallant has she? BELV. None, she's exposed to Sale, and four Days in the Week she's yours—for so much a Month. WILL. The very Thought of it quenches all manner of Fire in me—yet prithee let's see her. BELV. Let's first to Dinner, and after that we'll pa** the Day as you please—but at Night ye must all be at my Devotion. WILL. I will not fail you. [Exeunt.