Ann Morrison - It's A Hit! lyrics

[JOE] (As the crowd in the theatre applauds.) Listen to that! Did you listen to that? Do you know what that means? Let me tell you what that means Wait, no, anyone who even thinks it Don't say it, you'll jinx it! [FRANK] Listen to that! Will you listen to that? Does that make you feel proud? Well, feel more than just proud Okay, wait, I'll tempt fate And I'll state it out loud: That, unless I miss my guess, is: I can't stand it! Listen! Yes! That's the sound of a hit! It's a hit! Gang, I think this is it! No more writing clever little shows For those basement saloons No more proclamations from the pros That "you can't hum the tunes" [MARY] No more sneaking in at intermission To the plays you wish you could afford [FRANK] Or producers having you audition Whenever they're bored [CHARLEY] And who'll say Right away As you play The first chord: "Boys, that's just great But next time, don't be so clever" [ALL] We're a hit! We're a hit! [JOE] You're ahead, you should quit [FRANK] No more coaching those sopranos With voices like bees [CHARLEY] No more secondhand pianos With six broken keys [MARY] No more agents giving you opinions While they turn you over to their minions [ALL] Just for these Guarantees We should please Thank the Lord It's a hit! It's a hit! [MARY] (to Frank) Will your in-laws just spit! After all of that baloney They've made you go through All that muttering that you're a phony 'Cause what do you do? Will their faces be stony When they see on their Sony Someone handing the phony The Tony Award! (Mary gives Frank an umbrella to serve as a microphone.) [FRANK, spoken] I would like to begin by thanking everyone who turned down everything I have written so I could win this! (Audience applauds.) [ALL] It's a hit! [JOE] Hold it Folks, there's still the reviews left Both the Trib and the News left Early Surly Not a good sign Also, even if there's a chance, folks Let's not forget the advance, folks Not a Lotta Cash, folks [CHARLEY] Also, even if it's a smash, folks Doesn't that mean we sell out? [JOE] Well, I hope we sell out [CHARLEY] What I mean is sell out Well, you know Success is like failure It's how you perceive it It's what you do with it Not how you achieve it And I can't believe it's a hit! (Audience applauds.) It's a hit! It's a hit! It's a- [FRANK] Listen to that! Will you listen to that? Tell me, is that a noise Or is that a noise? That is the noise we've been Waiting the whole of our lives to hear! [CHARLEY] Listen to that! Would you listen to that? Buddy Is that a noise Or is that a noise? Where's the machine? Gotta get it on tape for our wives to hear! [FRANK] Listen to that! I can't Stand it! [MARY] (Turns on the tape recorder.) Listen to that! That's obscene! [JOE] Listen to that! Fellas, that is a noise that is really a noise! I can't stand it! Will you Listen to that? [CHARLEY] Listen to that! Did you listen to that? I can't stand it! Did you listen to that? Listen to that! [MARY] That's a noise that is really a Listen to that! Will you listen to that? Golly, I can't Stand it! [FRANK] Listen to that! That is the noise I've been waiting my life to hear! Listen to that! Listen to that! Will you Listen to that! [ALL] Will you listen to that? That's the sound of an audience losing its mind! It's the pope on his balcony, blessing mankind! [JOE] Folks, it's Funny Girl, Fiddler, and Dolly combined! [ALL] It's a hit! It's a hit! It's a palpable hit! [FRANK & CHARLEY] If it only even runs a minute At least it's a wedge It's the theatre and we're really in it Not just on the edge! [JOE] If your spirits ever need improving You can drop in any night for free! [FRANK] (looking at Charley) But the thing that's positively moving- [CHARLEY] (to Frank) You could have fooled me [FRANK & CHARLEY] Is that we're still good friends! Nothing can k** good friends! Where there's a will, good friends Don't need success to survive! [ALL] And us, good friends What's to discuss, good friends! We've got a Surefire Genuine Walkaway Blockbuster Lines down to Broadway Boffola Sensational Box office Lallapalooza Gargantuan hit! It's a hit! It's a hit! It's a hit! It's a hit! It's a hit! It's a hit! It's a hit! It's a hit! It's a hit!