Andrew Robie - Murphy's Last Hurrah lyrics

Murphy had been planet hopping for weeks now. What had started out as a little heist on some backwater planet had turned into the biggest manhunt he'd ever found himself the target of. Finally, in the rings of Saturn, he was able to relax a little. “Of all the sh** luck,” mumbled Murphy, reclining on his cot. After avoiding the Galactic Police for fifteen years, they'd finally caught up with him on what was to be his last job. The plan had been fairly simple: wait for the Council to deliver a shipment of credits to the Nebula Bank, and catch the guards as they were unloading the ship. Murphy and his partner, Joel, would hold the guards while that ba*tard Huxley loaded the credits into their ship. After that, they'd all go their separate ways. Everything had gone well until they'd started to head back to the ship. Huxley, who was supposed to be waiting on the ship, was standing outside, with someone Murphy had never seen before standing behind him. The man was wearing what looked like teller's clothes, but he couldn't have worked for the bank. The tellers should have never even known anything was going on. Huxley walked up to Murphy and pulled out a blaster. Murphy had started to reach for his own when Huxley said, “Aldus Murphy, I am placing you under arrest for forty-three counts of armed robbery.” “You son of a b**h,” grumbled Murphy. He started to put his hands up, but stopped when he saw Huxley crumple to the ground in a flash of red light. The man who had been with Huxley pulled out a GP phaser and was suddenly hit by another red flash, but not before firing off his own yellow blast. Murphy heard a gasp from behind him and turned to see Joel curled up on the ground. He started towards Joel, but turned back to the ship when he heard the heaving of a Galactic Patrol ship above him. “Sorry, buddy,” said Murphy more to himself, “but I gotta get home.” He ran for the ship and shut the door behind him. Inside, Murphy started up the engines and shot off just as the Galactic Patrol ship had settled onto the ground. “So long,” he said, saluting them sarcastically. Once he'd cleared the atmosphere, he jumped into hyperspace. After a few moments, Murphy's ship lurched out of hyperspace, not too far from Orion 6. The place had never been one of his favorites, but it was in the middle of nowhere—not another planet for several hundred light-years—and had always been a good hideout for him and Joel when the heat was on. It helped that the locals were always happy to help anyone with some spare credits. As Murphy neared the planet, something seemed off. Orion 6 had never been a huge tourist attraction, but there were usually a handful of ships coming and going. Not today, though. The airspace was dead quiet. He gripped the command wheel tighter and continued his approach. Just as he began entering Orion 6's atmosphere, his communicator activated and he was greeted by a finely dressed officer of the Galactic Police Department. “Aldus Murphy,” the man boomed, “submit and we promise your sentencing will be lenient.” “Not today,” said Murphy, deactivating the communicator. He reversed quickly and, once he had cleared the atmosphere, was off again. It had been a month of jumping around, only staying long enough to get supplies. Now, here he was, so close to home he could feel it calling to him. Murphy got up from his cot and headed to the cabin. He looked out the window. Murphy knew he'd be in for a hot welcome. The Galactic PD had almost unlimited resources and they'd known all of his other usual places, so why wouldn't they know he was heading for Earth? Waiting them out wouldn't do any good; he had a week's worth of supplies at most. But Earth was busy. Once he was there, provided he hadn't been noticed, he could get lost pretty easily and set himself up nicely. “Just need a plan,” he whispered. He didn't want to contact anyone on Earth in case the Galactic PD was monitoring communications and Joel was behind bars by now, so it was all on him. Good thing he'd always been the brains. Murphy chuckled and turned back toward his room. After a few hours of sleep, Murphy had awoken with a start. He thought he'd heard ships, but there was no sign of anyone. Must have just been debris, he thought. Deciding he wasn't tired, he got the maps for Earth out. He figured the Galactic PD would be in the low atmosphere, like they'd been everywhere else, but he wasn't sure where exactly they'd be stationed. No doubt they'd be monitoring the major entry channels, but a lone ship somewhere remote would probably arouse their suspicion even more. “Damn,” said Murphy with a sigh. “Nothing's workin'.” He rolled the maps up and headed for the pantry. He clicked the door open and looked around. He wasn't all that hungry, but he'd needed a break. A piece of cheese caught his eye. “Old Luna, how could I forget about you?” Murphy ran to his room and grabbed the map for the moon. It wasn't much more than a pit stop while waiting to enter Earth, but it was his best shot. “If I can just get there,” said Murphy, hunched over the map. “If I can just get there and hitch a ride or something, I'll be good.” If he got there, he should be able to finagle a ride out of someone; spacers weren't known for their upstanding morals. The only issue was what Murphy had to barter with. He still had a few hundred credits, but that wouldn't be nearly enough to convince a spacer to risk transporting a wanted felon. Dropping the map on his cot, he knelt down and pulled out a box. It held his favorite spoils from jobs, heists, whatever you want to call them—the things he hadn't been willing to sell. But what was more important now? Getting home or holding on to a few knickknacks? He sat on the floor cross-legged and opened the box carefully. Nothing in there was terribly dangerous or fragile, but he felt flinging the box open didn't show the items the proper respect. What was he most willing to part with? The first thing that caught his eye was a flashy little trinket from a job a few years ago. He and Joel had been playing a con on a wealthy Uni girl. Naive young thing who thought Joel was some bruiser after Murphy for a debt. And Murphy, for his part, was some poor sap who'd been played by organized crime just trying to follow his dream of starting an aid organization for the ghettos of Ceti A. Sure, it was sappy, but those types ate that stuff up. The trinket was the girl's bracelet, supposedly a family heirloom going back to the second Great War. Joel had taken it for “collateral.” Murphy, always a little interested in ancient history, had decided to hold onto it because of its age. The way the polished silver bent the light in ever new and mesmerizing ways didn't hurt, even though it made him doubt the girl's claims on its age. It would probably fetch a good price, but he wasn't sure how enticing it would be to spacers. It was certainly conspicuous, and while they weren't the most morally upright of people, they didn't have Murphy's connections. His best bet for it was probably someone looking for a present for someone. Murphy rolled the bracelet up and placed it on the map. The next item he picked up was a scroll. It was made of silk that was starting to fray around the edges. He'd always wondered who decided it'd be a good idea to have a treasure map on a silk scroll. The map was from one of the old space privateers who used to call the Sol System home and was supposed to lead to this particular one's greatest haul: some of the treasures of the Maechi family, stolen from one of their cargo freighters. Murphy had lifted it during the course of a contract job on the Council's Galactic Museum. It hadn't been one of the items they were supposed to steal, but he'd been intrigued by the promise of almost unlimited wealth. That had been almost six years ago and Murphy and Joel had never gotten around to investigating it further. Sure, the map itself was probably worth something, but it would draw even more unwanted attention than the bracelet. He figured some romantic spacer, more interested in treasure hunting than transporting goods, might have some interest in it, but most would probably have nothing to do with it. Rolling it up gingerly, he placed it next to the bracelet. And last, but certainly not least, was the thing that probably had the best shot: a simple gold coin. There was nothing seemingly special about it, but after looking into it, Murphy had found out Cortez had supposedly found it in El Dorado. The coin could probably bring a lot of credits, especially being gold, which had become a myth of its own over the centuries. It was another remnant of the Museum job and had been one of the target items. Their “employer” had noticed Murphy's interest in it and, as part of a thanks for the job going well, decided to give it to him. The coin could prove useful. It was rare and valuable, sure, but on first glance, no one would think anything of it. Should the interested spacer take it to a museum, they would no doubt understand its value, but they'd never be able to identify it as the same coin that Murphy and Joel had lifted. With a little fast talking, the spacer could probably convince the museum officials that he'd found it through some dumb stroke of luck. Murphy nodded. “That'll do nicely.” Having mapped everything out to his satisfaction, Murphy decided to get some sleep before setting off for his last adventure. He dropped the coin in the box and heard it clink against the bottom. Standing, he picked up the maps and the bracelet and placed them in the box. After sliding the box under his cot, he settled in for the night. Murphy awoke, refreshed and ready for what lay ahead. Getting out of his cot, he stretched, letting out a long groan, then shook off the last remnants of sleep. He walked to the pilot's chair and sat down, kicking the engines on after he'd settled in. He started flying forward, but stopped. “Hmm.” Murphy wasn't sure if he should fly to the Moon or if he should jump. Jumping would certainly take less time, and with the Moon's much smaller atmosphere, he could get pretty close before having to leave hyperspace, but a jump might draw the attention of the Galactic PD. Though there was no saying whether flying in would draw any less attention. Deciding there wasn't much of a difference, Murphy jumped, and after a split second, dropped out no more than a few dozen miles from the Moon. Not far in front of him, he could see freighters resting peacefully, their crews probably at the base k**ing time waiting for Customs. There was no sign of the Galactic PD; Murphy let out a sigh. He ran back to his room, grabbing all three items and stuffing them in his pockets. Once he was ready, he headed for the base. Getting into the base had been trivial. He hadn't expected it to be hard, but with his luck the way it'd been recently, he hadn't been sure what to expect. The base was big, but not huge. There was an area with food vendors, always popular among people who'd been forced to eat travel-friendly food for any length of time. On the far side, directly opposite the entrance Murphy had come in, was the Customs office. It wasn't big—the main one was on Earth—but he decided it best to stay as far away from there as possible. Now came the fun part. Every other time Murphy had had to smuggle something, he'd had a connection. Today, he was going in blind, and not just with some illegal items, but as a wanted felon. He spotted three men in rather plain clothes, a little dirty, sitting at a table eating. Figuring that was as good a place as any to start, he began walking towards them. As he drew closer, he could overhear their conversation. “What's with all the GPD on Earth?” said the man sitting across from the other two. “Trying to catch some burglar,” said the one on the left. “I hope they catch the sonuvab**h!” said the first man. “Maybe then they'll quit ha**lin' us.” Murphy turned to his left quickly and kept walking. He had no idea where to, but he didn't want to tempt trouble. As he walked, he bumped into someone, the bracelet falling out of his pocket. “Oh, I'm so sorry,” said the woman, kneeling down to pick it up. She stood, holding the bracelet and looking at it. “Well, I'll be. Wouldn't have expected someone as rough-and-tumble as you to have something so glamorous.” She handed it back to him. “Thank you, ma'am,” said Murphy with a nod. He rolled the bracelet up gingerly and placed it in his pocket. “Present for my daughter.” The woman looked at Murphy, hands folded in front of her. “Unfortunately,” continued Murphy, “I seem to have run into some trouble.” The woman's face sank. “You see, I've been working out of the system recently.” Murphy fidgeted with the bracelet in his pocket. “I got some time off to visit my wife and daughter and I wanted to surprise them. Company made arrangements to get me here, but it was up to me to get home.” Murphy looked at his feet. “Unfortunately, my ride fell through and I'm a bit short on credits.” The woman put her hands up to her chest. “Well, honey, you can ride with me.” “No, no, no,” said Murphy waving his hands. “I wouldn't want to impose.” “It's not a problem, dear.” The woman placed her hand on Murphy's wrist. “I just got off my shift and I'm heading home.” She co*ked her head to the side. “Of course, I'm not sure where you call home, but I'm heading for D.C.” Murphy perked up. “I'm sure I could get in touch with someone from there.” “Wonderful!” said the woman. The two headed for the commuter shuttles. After a brief flight, their shuttle landed at the main D.C. transit depot. The woman got out and Murphy followed. “Here,” said the woman. She held out a piece of paper and some credits. “I want you to have these. That's my number in case you need any more help.” “Ma'am, I couldn't,” said Murphy. “You've already done so much for me.” “I insist,” said the woman. She grabbed Murphy's hand and stuffed the credits in it. Murphy smiled at her. “I don't know what to do to thank you.” “Nothing, honey. Just have a good trip.” The woman walked off. Murphy let his head fall back and chuckled under his breath. Went even better than I could have hoped, he thought. He headed for the door, making sure to avoid the direction the woman had gone and dropping the slip of paper in the nearest trash can. The depot was busy, but after working his way through the crowd, he stepped out of the doors and into the city. Smiling, he looked around, wondering where he should go. Scalping the stuff shouldn't be too hard and from there, he'd be good. “Hello, Aldus,” came a voice next to him. Murphy froze. He knew that voice. He turned to it. “It's been a while,” said Huxley. Murphy felt someone grab his elbow and turned to see two armed Galactic Officers just behind him.