[Intro] Fellas prepare to drop your jaws Ladies prepare to drop your drawers Cause you are listening to Wagner You want to know my s**ual history, well then, where should I start? Oh! It was my date of birth when I first tore a girl apart [Verse 1] It started when my mom at age sixteen exchanged s** for amphetamines Nine months later, she was overjoyed to get her uterus cleaned The second pregnancy - me - she kept ‘cause she likes attention very much That's when I got used to hearing ladies say, “Wow, so big, may I please touch?” I wanna wrap my hands 'round bottles and my lips 'round nipples, right away I bash my head into my mama's cervix - I refuse to stay here one more day! Mama goes into labor at the baby shower but it feels good, she feels no pain That's cause I can't help myself, you know I made that p**y rain [Hook] It wasn't from her boyfriends and it wasn't from my dad Oh no I'm the best orgasm that my mama ever had She'd say that to emasculate dudes who thought they were bad:
"You're whack, and my son's still the best orgasm that I've had" [Verse 2] I feel a hand fresh out the salon spanking my baby bottom and giving it a squeeze Turn to see it's the midwife stroking and tugging on my umbilical - such a sleaze I catch the eye of a newlywed bride with big a** b**bies and tiny waist She looks me over like she wants to know how my placenta tastes Mommy, please vaccinate me for HPV before I cause an outbreak I was left on the couch where mom's friends sat on my soft face, claimed it was a mistake (surrrrrre) Then a nurse checked my air-deprived baby-body like, "yo gimme some of that In the closet, give me orgasms like how your mama had" My mom was never quite the same, she felt her life had peaked The best orgasm of her life had pa**ed, now she was bleak Mom saw no further use for me, abandoned me and fled And that's why I tell everyone my birth left my mom dead