I’m a sh**ty golfer, you can ask my wife
I’ve been out there hackin’ every day of my life
I got the shorts and all the plaid sweaters
And new taylormade driver didn’t make me any better
Man, I hit ’em fast and I hit ’em thin
I roll ’em in the bunker’s man, I hit ’em again
Slice ’em in the bushes, crank ’em in a creek
I popped that s**er up and hooked it out in the street
Yeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
Hit that son of a b**h right up there in the leather
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a fight
Hey, I’m a sh**ty golfer, most of us are
But we carry our clubs in the back of our cars
What else you gonna do when you’re out of town
And you need to waste a whole day and shoot another round
Man, I played Augusta, and I played Pebble Beach
And one time at Sawgra** I shot 83
If I live long enough to be 88
I think I’ll celebrate it by shooting my age
Yeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
Hit that son of a b**h right up there in the leather
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a fight, oh yeah
You can put me down for a fight