In our TV advert we well get a married couple
To say they couldn't be without it
A girl in the swimsuit will sit on it
And all the men will buy one
We will sell you something pointless
Put it in a bigger box than it needs to be in
Have pop music in the background
This will appeal to all teenagers
A cheap free gift for the ten and unders
We froze it in a block of ice
Then crushed it with a tractor
Then we threw it out of a helicopter
Into sulphuric acid
We will sell you something pointless
Put it in a bigger box than it needs to be in
Tested and approved by experts
Only the finest natural ingredients
See the factory it's efficient
We will sell you something pointless
Put it in a bigger box than it needs to be in
It will make you someone special
Be the envy of all your friends
You think you have got a bargain!