I want to be old And creek by the fire I want to smell of rotting wood It's all I desire I want my joints to seize up I want my legs to ache I want my eyesight to fail I want my skin to flake To be old I want to be old
I want false teeth And not be able to chew I want to be senile A centigenarian fool I want lots of wrinkles Want my hearing to go I want to be ignored And I want to be slow To be old I want to be old