Dysfunctional belles
Dysfunctional balls
The folks in my family
Well, they just beat all
They put me through hell
When they deck the halls
They even send Santy Claus
Climbing up the walls
There's no day slower than Christmas to me
It seems to last half the year
It's supposed to be something sent straight from heaven
But it ain't to me, it's the day of hell
Mama with her wreath
And daddy with his wrath
Granny eating with no teeth
And my sister's mangy cats
A hundred ignorant cousins
With their pointy headed hats
Have driven me as crazy
As a hundred sh** house rats
There's no day slower than Christmas to me
It seems to last half the year
It's supposed to be something sent straight from heaven
But it ain't to me, it's a living hell
There's no day slower than Christmas
There's no day slower than Christmas
There's no day slower than Christmas
There's no day slower than Christmas