[Verse:] Mr. Jones Put a wiggle in your stride Loosen up I believe he'll be alright Changing clothes Now he's got ventilated slacks Bouncing off the walls Mr. Jones is back! Bulge out And wind your waist Tight pants Got curly hair Drinking cold beer From metal cans Moonshine And Handi-Wipes! Mr. Jones is back in town It's his lucky day Hold up your hands and shout Jones is on his way Pitter pat Mr. Jones is back in town Aces high Now his pants are falling down He looks so fine In those patent leather shoes Mr. Jones, you look tired I believe you'll be alright
Sales men Conventioneers Some rock stars With tambourines Short skirts And skinny legs Selling bibles And real estate It's a big day for Mr. Jones He is not so square Mr. Jones will stick around He's everybody's friend Fast cars And motorbikes I'm sure glad He's on our side The Jones Gang Down at the bar Watch out, this time They've gone too far They call for Mr. Jones They put him in charge Mr. Jones will help us out He's a lucky guy It is Mr. Jones' Birthday party For another year In his hotel room Party favors It's a holiday