I could learn to speak Vietnamese by myself
I could even teach it to my good dog, Ralph
I can learn to read you every book on the shelf
I could tell your fortune like the Oracle of Delphi
I could learn to tell you every flower by its color
I could even swim as fast as Johnny Weismuller
But I never could learn to get along without you
Don't you run away from me, I sure dig s**
Do I love you? Is the Pope Catholic?
Do I need you? Is a rubber band elastic?
Do I want you? Is the atom bomb drastic?
Let's be heteros**ually entwined.
We fit like a Hong Kong suit, dear
I dig you more than I dig Root Beer.
Peanut bu*ter sandwiches are pretty neat
But when you get right down to it you just can't compete with
Good old double S - E - double X is
Faster than Batman and bigger than Texas
And you're concave and I'm convex
Welcome to the world of s**
You can get love from your papa or your mama
You can get steam from a Turkish or a sauna
You can get hot from tortillas or lasagna
But you get all three when you make it with me
So.
I can't remember the words to the verse.
A short attention span is the mummy's curse,
This song started out pretty good
I'll finish it someday (knock on wood)
Mike Smith'd be embarra**ed if he knew,
This is the one song of his I blew,
You never know what's comin' off next,
Do you, in the wonderful world of s**.