[Spoken:]
[Wily (Danny Sexbang):]
Hello, Mega Man. And Mrs. Mega Man.
Welcome to couples' therapy. I'm Dr. Wily.
[Mega Man (Egoraptor):]
Dr. Wily? You're a therapist now?
But you're evil, and bent on world domination!
[Wily:]
Not anymore. Those days are behind me.
Don't question it! Shut up. Just tell me the problem over this hot beat.
[Mega Man:]
Okay...
[Music]
[Mega Man:]
Well you see, Doc, I got a pretty nice life
A Mega House with two kids, and a hot Mega Wife
But I got a little problem with my android bride
When it comes to making love, she's never satisfied
[Mrs. Mega (Danny):]
We've been f**ing for decades! Sex has gotten routine!
We gotta spice that sh** up, I'm not a total machine!
I'm sick of all the romance, and the cuddles, and the love
It's time to get dirty and do all the weird stuff!
[Wily:]
It would be seeming to me that the problem here
Is you don't listen to your wife, she is being clear
[Mega Man:]
But she says the same thing, like a tape recorder!
[Wily:]
Quiet! The doctor is talking -- there must be ORDER!
...Sorry, I'm not evil anymore.
You must beat the Robot Masters to acquire sk**s
And then use them on your wife when she is getting drilled
Maybe she likes shocks from Elec Man's beam
Or getting burnt by fireballs; she's a freaky man's dream
[Mega Man:]
Is that what you want, hon? A Robot Master?
[Mrs. Mega:]
Get out and do it, you stupid ba*tard!
[Wily:]
Your marriage will be healthy like pure springwater
Now leave my office before you are SLAUGHTERED!
[Mega Man:]
Fine, I'll kick a** if it saves my marriage
For the satisfaction of my lady's undercarriage
First I'll take on Fire Man, not much of a test
Oh, your weakness is ice? I woulda never f**ing guessed.
Now Ice Man is here, this shouldn't take up too much time
Oh, is your weakness fire? You just blew my f**ing mind.
I cut Cut Man and he's gonna need stitches
Bomb and Elec Man just went down like little b**hes
[Zero (Danny):]
Wait, you douchebag, I'm gonna end your life
I am Mega Man Zero, and I'm here to plow your wife
I bring s** moves from the future, and my sk**s are vast
Like my super double ultra mega nutbuster cumblast (Oh!)
Women can't resist my blonde flowing locks
I'll slap a stamp right on my package and deliver your wife the co*k
My shining armor is red, the color of victory
While your fruity suit is blue, like your balls will soon be
[Spoken:]
[Zero:]
Wait! What are you doing...?
[Mega Man:]
Mega Dick... ACTIVATE!
[Music]
[Wily:]
So Mega Man harnessed all the powers of the Masters
And k**ed Zero with his mega laser schlong-blaster
And then he banged his wife until she screamed "Yes! More!"
Then she loved him again, 'cause she's a SHALLOW who*e
[Spoken:]
[Wily:]
Sorry, that was misogynistic.
She is a who*e, though.
[Mega Man:]
What did you say?!
[Wily:]
Nothing!
...Douche.