Later on, when I get old I'm gonna buy myself a better home One that's better than where I now live One that doesn't smell like sh** And it will have a garden to! With tulips for me to tiptoe through And I'll keep my yard so nice and clean As not to upset the community I'll have you know, this is my only goal To have my house inside their centerfold
I can see it now, a two-page spread In Better Homes and Gardens Oh! how I'd love to be in that magazine Showing off my favorite recipes And removing rust from garbage cans This would make me the proudest man But it will take a lot from me For I can't even keep my own room clean I know that one day I'll see my face In Better Homes and Gardens