Me holidays on the Southern Sands,
trying to get some fun by way of one night stands...
I clocked this girl, thought I'd give her the chat –
one of them Swedish blonde types
and I've always fancied that.
I showed her me Polaroid.
She said "I like it, will you
please take my picture?"
I say "Right then", thinking
this is gonna be me lucky day.
She whips off her bikini top
and I think "OK!"
I say "It only takes a minute
for this thing to develop."
She says "I'd better push off now
or me feller'll be jealous."
Just then I felt a hand on me collar,
and it was a Boy in Blue.
He says "You can't take nude photographs on this beach,"
and "I'm arresting you."
I protested me innocence,
but it was no use, the picture was forming;
he gave me the official warning that day.
He'd seen me Polaroid,
so what could I say?
I looked around, but she'd disappeared,
I say "You don't understand, this was all her idea!"
But the copper says "Don't worry son, I get the picture OK."
He took me Polaroid
and I got ten days.