I awoke this morning twitched the curtain aside Took a look through the window and let out a sigh I saw rain fall in buckets over Adamsdown And thus was I prevented from leaving the house I was prevented from going to the job centre So I sat and flicked through the newspaper They have discovered it seems a shocking truth We are in the grip of a 'European Monsoon' I was prevented from buying any fruit and veg So I ordered a takeaway pizza instead I was prevented from having my tires checked So I drove my car into someone's fence So conveniently prevented by unseasonal weather I embraced this unseasonal affective disorder And as a note from my doctor now officially proves I'm chronically depressed about the 'European Monsoon' I never knew I could be so absolved from blame Never knew I could feel so justified in my apathy I never knew before I had you
I love you 'European Monsoon' I was prevented from becoming an informed member Of society by the inclement weather If I was registered to vote I'd vote BNP Cos immigrants are why it always rains on me Whilst I sleep at night under my nation's flag You could get good odds I couldn't find it on a map Retrospectively prevented from succeeding in school Cos I was "too depressed about the 'European Monsoon'" I was prevented from acheiving all my childhood dreams Now I'm the poster boy for fake S-A-D You can see in the pages of my self-help book How I've constructed an art form from not giving a f** And if the sun ever returns to chase the blues away I've become so dependent it could easily remain An insurmountable barrier to things I don't wanna do "I'm still depressed about the 'European Monsoon'"